Picture of Karen’s Dream



Chapter 3

The Yada Yadas’ Dream

How do you follow a dream like Aileen’s? No one in that group of women that day thought their dream as worthy as hers. However, Karen hesitantly held up her picture. Karen was the sensible one in the group. She was the one who kept us on task, always remembered to bring the snacks, and reminded us to schedule our next meeting. She has an incredible gift of hospitality. When you are in her presence, you just feel loved and accepted and welcome. She had started a women’s ministry, called WINGS, in her own church that was helping women connect with one another. She had helped to found the Yada Yada group because she wanted to increase her biblical knowledge and was curious about other faith traditions.

While dreaming was not something that came naturally to Karen, when given the time and the space, she could dream. Her dream was one of practicality. She held up a picture with trucks on it and explained, “Our neighborhood has so much excess. We have far more stuff than we need. If I could do anything, I would take the excess of the suburbs and carry it into the city and give it away to people in need--people like Via who are trying to start over.” That night in 2003, none of us had a clue that by 2007 we would have given away the equivalent of over 300 households of furniture. But that story will have to wait. Karen was just dreaming that night. She had no plans of actually living the dream and neither did the rest of us. This was just pie-in-the-sky… or so we thought.

Next came Colleen with her dream of going to Africa and working with orphaned children. Then Eileen with hers of working with emotionally disturbed children. MaryJo dreamed of sharing her musical talents with underprivileged children. Cynthia dreamed of becoming a teacher in the inner city.

As one by one each of these women shared her dream, we all felt a growing sense of God’s presence in the room. All the dreams seemed to complement one another and all of them were focused on the needs of others, in particular the poor. No one dreamt of winning the lottery or building a bigger house or going on some extravagant vacation. Everyone dreamt of making a difference in the world.

It was finally my turn. I had drawn a picture of a van, a mobile ministry van. My dream was to gather up all the dreamers and help them see their dreams come true. My thought at the time was to build missional small groups that would help people discover their calling and support one another in seeking to be faithful to that call. I had no idea how or whether this dream would ever become a reality. But in time that small group of seven suburban women grew into Quest, a women’s ministry with 7 small groups and over 70 women whose mission was “to empower women to live their God-given dreams by nurturing their love of God, self, and others.”

Quest provided women an opportunity to develop authentic relationships where they could truly share their lives, thoughts, and dreams with one another. This kind of intimate community is rare. However, there is something “magical” or divinely powerful about such a group, especially when that group that invites God to do miraculous things in and through it. This group of ladies did not enter into prayer as an excuse for not responding to the world’s needs but believing God could and would respond to their prayers.

Over the next two years I met dozens of women like the Yada Yadas-- women who had been blessed with great talents and abilities and desired to do more with their lives than simply build their own human kingdoms, and instead invest themselves in the lives of others.

Some already volunteered at school, others at their local church, but few had been able to find opportunities that allowed them to fully live their dreams. I felt as though I was surrounded by an army of mighty warriors who had somehow gotten lost and could no longer see the enemy. Instead of fighting for justice, we had been told that our job was to shop, take care of our own families’ needs, and let others address the needs of the world.

The church had told us that our role in doing “outreach” was to invite friends to come to worship but no one had ever challenged us to go beyond the walls of the church or the comfort of our own community. No one had ever suggested that God’s Kingdom exists in places without steeples and pulpits. We had been bombarded with messages about the dangers of the city and were consumed by fear of the strangers on the other side. Most of us had elected to live in this distant suburb of Richmond to escape the crime of the city so the thought of intentionally going back was like asking the Israelites who made it to the Promised Land to return to Egypt.

Despite dozens of workshops on discerning one’s call and the dozens of God-inspired pictures drawn through the years, few have been willing actually to respond to the call to care for the poor. For some, it was simply not the season, but for most it is fear that paralyzes and the whisperings of the world that seduces them to take up a different cross--the cross of economic gain and self interest.

As God called me into the inner city to work with Via and her friends, I felt my disconnect from the suburban culture where I lived growing. Most could not understand why I was moving in that direction and my frustration with the complacency I found all around me increased. I realized that Quest was the launching pad for something else; something none of us could have foreseen.

In 2003, New York Times bestselling author Bruce Wilkinson wrote a wonderful little book titled “The Dream Giver.” It is a parable about a Nobody named Ordinary from a town called Familiar. One day Ordinary receives a message from the Dream Giver, “Nobody was made to be a Somebody and destined to achieve Great Things.” The story chronicles all the trials Ordinary endures as he journeys from the Comfort Zone of Familiar toward his Big Dream. As he attempted to cross over the boarder of Familiar, Ordinary hits the invisible Wall of Fear. Ordinary had to make a choice, “He could either keep his comfort of his Dream”. Ordinary pushes through the wall of fear only to come face to face with Border Bullies who he thought were his friends. They tried to convince him he should turn back and questioned the wisdom of his choice. Refusing to turn back, Ordinary faces the Giant of Unbelief and finally arrives at the city gates of Anybody. “The needs of the Anybodies were great, and their hopes were few….The Big Needs of the Anybodies matched perfectly the Big Dream in his heart and it was time to do his dream...He saw the need nearest him and tried to meet it.” For a long while, Ordinary lives out his dream in the city of Anybody until one day he hears the Dream Giver calling him to go further and he realizes he is ready for the dream to grow into a new and bigger Dream.”

We all feel like Nobodies-- too ordinary to achieve great things. We feel as if the world and its problems are far too big for us to have any kind of beneficial impact on it. So we settle for running on the hamster wheel, chasing after “stuff” and “pleasure,” ignoring our dreams and settling for the latest and greatest goody this world has to offer. Then along comes someone like Aileen or Via, someone so unselfish, so willing to sacrifice for others, that all our tireless spinning and toiling seems utterly pointless.

I have never been able to duplicate the chemistry of the Yada Yada group over the years. That group was a gift from God for a season when all seven of us needed to be inspired to dream. We were together to comfort Cynthia when her mother died, to care for Colleen as she defeated breast cancer, and to cry with Eileen when her marriage came to an end. This group also encouraged me to follow my dream of going to seminary and starting a ministry of building bridges between communities of prosperity and poverty. They were the safe little nest I needed, for a while. But, as God tends to do to us, eventually I was kicked out of my place of comfort so my dreams could grow wings and fly.

During my years leading Quest Women’s Ministry, I discovered the first key element in Swanson’s road map to community transformation. I discovered the dreams of God’s people.

A few brave souls made the journey and carried all those dreams into the city to discover where they intersected with the community’s needs. In addition to Aileen, Karen was one of those faithful people willing to continue the journey even when it meant personal sacrifice. She journeyed with me from our first encounter at the bus stop, to countless hours in prayer meetings with Yada Yadas, and she ultimately became our first board President. Karen embodies what it means to practice Christian hospitality toward the stranger.

Insights from Karen O’Brien

Welcoming new people at the bus stop is just something I do. That is actually how I first met Aileen. I love meeting new people, especially people who have different life experiences than I have. I remember visiting with Wendy on my back porch and listening to her talk about her life experiences and her faith.

I grew up in Rochester, New York, and while my family was very involved in the Catholic Church, we did not engage in spiritual conversations outside Sunday worship. I wanted to be around people like Wendy; she was so open and comfortable sharing her faith and I knew that helping her start a small group would stretch me.

That night when Wendy asked us to draw our dreams, it was a struggle. Dreaming is not something I really allow myself time to do. However, as we sat there I just realized how blessed we are. We all have far more than we need. I spend a lot of time managing stuff and it takes away from other more important things. In the suburban community where I live there is such abundance and I do not like to see things go to waste.

I think it goes back to an experience I had back when I was eight or nine years old. I was in church and I read a prayer that said that everything is God’s and that we are just the caretakers of God’s things; none of it is ours. That realization changed me. My husband and I have always given things away and shared what we have with others. It is just kind of who we are. It has always worked so that when we share with others, we somehow always have what we need when we need it. Before that night I had never really thought about doing this kind of thing in an organized way.

I think there is a need for opportunities to share our things with those in need, not only to meet the needs of the recipient, but also to meet the needs of the giver. Jesus said we are to clothe the naked and feed the hungry. While I admire Aileen and others like her who are able to befriend those in need, not everyone is able or would feel comfortable going into the inner city. Giving material goods provides an opportunity for everyone to get involved and can sometimes be the bridge to building relationships.

Karen’s Dream Today – To help expand into other communities the ministries she has helped start in Richmond.

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