Improve the paragraph (“de-boringize”) – handout (pruning ...
De-boring-ize
Improve the paragraph, or “de-boring-ize,” by pruning and connecting, using more specific nouns, including more exciting verbs, varying sentence lengths and types, deciding how the character feels and writing accordingly (option: can do this last one with a group where each person chooses a different mood and then compares writing later).
This is a great context for thinking about adverbs, dialogue, subject and predicate order, rhythm, varied sentence length, plot versus story, vocabulary, etc.
Read the boring paragraph first and then do a quick evaluation of it.
What did you like? What didn’t you like?
What could be improved? What do you think is happening?
_______________________________________________________________________
“BORING” PARAGRAPH #1
She entered the room. She stood just inside the door for a while. She saw someone she recognized. He waved at her over the heads of the crowd. She began to make her way towards him. Daft Punk was scheduled to perform that night. A man blocked her way. He asked if he had seen her before somewhere. She ignored him. He grasped her arm. She felt uncomfortable. She fled from the room.
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