WHAT DOES LOVE LOOK LIKE



WHAT DOES LOVE LOOK LIKE?...Part 3

“Deep Love…Unselfish”

• A couple of weeks ago when we defined what GOD said LOVE is…one of the many definitions was GIVING. His love is a “giving” type of love…not a selfish love like we so often define it here on earth

• 1 Corinthians 13:5 tells us that LOVE “It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”

• GOD IS NOT SELFISH!...Although everything was created for His pleasure…His pleasure is to GIVE!

• It is His good pleasure to pour our His loving compassion to us, and into us, and through us to others.

• Since we are created in His image…it just stands to reason that since He loves to GIVE so much that WE should also love to GIVE so much…and He told us that in Acts…

• Acts 20:35 “In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.'"

• SO….if we go by the example of what God has done…then for us to have the greatest happiness in our lives…we must also GIVE…give compassion …

• God’s compassion toward us shows up in the mercy, grace, patience, loving kindness, goodness, truth, and forgiveness and justice toward us…

• We KNOW that He wants us to show these traits to others because He tells us…

• John 15:12-13 “This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. GREATER LOVE has no one than this, than to lay down his life for his friends.”

• Last week we talked about the fact that God WANTS us to KNOW Him and to KNOW His love so that we can be a channel that His compassion flows through to others..

• He wants us to KNOW Him and His love because we are His OFFSPRING…we are His kids!!!!

• Acts 17:26-28 “From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. ‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’ As some of your own poets have said, ‘We are his offspring.’

• We know that we are commanded to LOVE GOD above everything and everyone else…

• Matthew 22:37-38 Jesus said to him, ”You shall LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and great commandment. “

• He even gives us another big clue to this in Matthew 10:37 “He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.”

• You may think…………….well, wow….that’s a little intense….and yes, it is…He tells us that for a reason though…

• Because…the “person” we love the most is the one that we study most to please, and whose will and interests we prefer in all cases…He is not telling us to love our mother or father or kids LESS…but to love HIM MORE

• EX: If we love our spouse or kids more…we tend to do everything THEY want and it gets “out of whack” real fast!

• HE HAS A REASON FOR THIS…..when we put Jesus FIRST in our life we are set free from the bondages of depending on another person…GOD becomes our source to meet all our needs…physical, spiritual, and emotional….

• THIS sets us free to be a GIVER OF LOVING COMPASSION to the important people in our life WITH NO SELFISH MOTIVE!!!! We are not looking for these people to give it back to us…we know that GOD WILL.

• EX: In marriage…if I look to Donny to meet every need I have…if I think that he is to be the one to make me feel satisfied…he won’t be able to do it..BECAUSE HE IS ONLY A HUMAN!!!...If I look to Donny for all my needs…then I will ultimately feel unsatisfied and frustrated…and SO WILL HE!.....then all kinds of crazy emotions rise up in me and in him ….like ANGER and RESENTMENT….all because of MY SELFISHNESS!

• We need to do what 1 Peter 5:7 says to do …”Cast all your cares on HIM, for HE cares for us.”….instead of casting them on your husband or kids or friends…..What would happen if we REALLY did what this verse says to do!!!?

• If I did it the way GOD tells me to…LOVING in UNSELFISHNESS…then I will have great compassion for Donny…I would be a GIVER and not a TAKER…I will get more pleasure from GIVING than from RECEIVING….because GOD is my portion and my reward…GOD gives me satisfaction and fulfillment and meets my every need.

• Psalm 73:26 “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever”

• So………………..next time your needs are not being met….go to JESUS….become more dependent on HIM…develop greater love for HIM…His LOVE IS COMFORTING…His LOVE is PEACEFUL.

• When it just doesn’t seem that your husband or your kids or your boss are appreciating you enough…then take it to JESUS. After all…HE is the One we are working for! Everything that we do is supposed to be done UNTO HIM…take all your disappointment and frustration to Jesus and GET READY…because He will “thank you” and “love you” in a more deeper way than you ever thought possible!

• READ: Colossians 3:117-23

• If you are still thinking that all this seems a bit “intense” …check out what John tells us…

• 1 John 2:3-11 “We KNOW that we have come to KNOW Him if we obey His commands. The man who says, “I know Hi,” but does NOT DO WHAT HE COMMANGE is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But if anyone obeys His word, GOD’S LOVE IS TRULY MADE COMPLETE in him. This is how we know we are in Him: Whoever claims to live in Him must walk as Jesus did. Dear friends, I am not writing you a new command but an old one, which you have had since the beginning. This old command is the message you have heard. Yet, I am writing you a new command; its truth is seen in Him and you, because the darkness is passing and the true light is already shining. Anyone who claims to be in the light BUT HATES HIS BROTHER is still in the darkness. Whoever LOVES HIS BROTHER lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble. BUT WHOEVER HATES HIS BROTHER is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness; he does not know where he is going because the darkness has blinded him.

• John reminds us again…

• 1 John 3:10 “This is HOW WE KNOW who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not a child of God; nor is anyone WHO DOES NOT LOVE HIS BROTHER.”

• And again….under the title “LOVE ONE ANOTHER” in my orange Bible…

• 1 John 3:11-20 “This is the message you heard from the beginning. We should LOVE ONE ANOTHER. Do not be like Cain who belonged to the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own actions were evil and his brother’s were righteous, Do not be surprised, my brothers, if the world hates you. We know that we have passed from death to life, because we LOVE OUR BROHTERS. Anyone who does not love remains in death. Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life in him. THIS IS HOW WE KNOW WHAT LOVE IS; Jesus Christ laid down His life for us. And WE OUGHT TO LAY DOWN OUR LIVES FOR OUR BROTHERS. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we KNOW that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts and God knows everything!”

• The word “EVIL” here means that Cain was DISSATISFIED that his own offering had not been accepted…

• OUR HEARTS CONDEMN US….we can’t say one thing with our mouth and do another thing with our actions…

• FOR GOD IS GREATER THAN OUR HEARTS AND KNOWS EVERYTHING…we can’t hope to find peace by hiding things from God…He KNOWS the sins that trouble us!

• Not only are we supposed to love our brothers…but to love our ENEMIES….

• Matthew 5:44 “LOVE YOUR ENEMIES and pray for those who persecute you that you may be sons of your Father in heaven.”

• LOVE YOUR ENEMIES…means “to wish well the SOUL of the person, though you cannot approve of his conduct

• PRAY FOR THOSE WHO PERSECUTE YOU….some versions say “bless” those who persecute you…give good words for their bad ones

• God doesn’t tell us to do something that is not for our own good…He says to BLESS those that are yuck to you because when you do…Satan doesn’t continue to assault you if the plan he designed to destroy you is being used to PERFECT you…..(Frances Frangipane)

• God tells us to do this because people who are filled with hate are MISREABLE…but THIS command is IMPOSSIBLE for us to obey on our own…we MUST have the mind of Christ!!

• No One but GOD could have given us a command to live by that is so CONTRARY to SELF-LOVE!!!!!!

• John 13:34-35 “LOVE ONE ANOTHER. As I have loved you, so you MUST love one another. By this all men will KNOW that you are my disciples, if you LOVE ONE ANOTHER.”

• Blessing for cursing…good for hatred…prayer for those that use you

• According to Paul…love is the FULFILLMENT of the law…

• Romans 13:8-10 “Let no debt remain outstanding, EXCEPT THE CONTINUING DEBT TO LOVE ONE ANOTHER, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. The commandments, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ ‘Do not murder,’ ‘Do not steal,’ ‘Do not covet,’ and whatever other commandment there may be, are SUMMED UP IN THIS ONE RULE: ‘LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.’ LOVES DOES NO HARM to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.”

• THINK ABOUT IT: If this law was really practiced by people…it would IMMEDIATELY change our society…people would stop doing anything that was “Ill-willed_ toward each other!!!.....business would change: no more fraud or dishonesty…it would stop a;; gossip and slander…there would be no adultery, murder, stealing or coveting…because those things are ill-willed!

• The next three verses are from John, Peter, and Paul…three apostles of Jesus…they said that when we LOVE ONE ANOTHER it is a testimony to God’s salvation…

• John says that love comes from God…1 John 4:7-8 “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and KNOWS God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because GOD IS LOVE.”

• Peter says that love defeats sins…1 Peter 4:8 “Above all, LOVE EACH OTHER DEEPLY, because love covers a multitude of sins.”

• LOVE EACH OTHER DEEPLY….this love does not take offense…it overlooks the offenses and buries it then and forgives…it doesn’t rake up or rehearse again past hurts or wrongs

• MULTITUDE OF SINS…you don’t see imperfections…and if you do see them…you are ready to cover their faults and forgive their offenses…it DOESN’T cover their sins from God, ONLY the Blood of Jesus does that!

• Paul said in 1 Corinthians 13:13 that the “greatest is love” out of faith, hope, and love…

• The first fruit of the Holy Spirit is LOVE in Galatians 5:22-23

• Colossians 3:14 “Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony”

• 1 John 5:1-3 “Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God, and everyone who loves the Father loves his child as well. This is how we know that we love the children of God; by LOVING GOD and CARRYING OUT HIS COMMANDS. This is love for God: to obey His commands and His commands are not grievous (burdensome)”

• It’s easy to obey God when our heart is right! Serving God is EASIER than serving SIN…freedom is much better than bondage…

• CARRYING OUT HIS COMMANDS…not just in word…but in deed

• OK…..now that we have read a billion Scriptures about what God has commanded us to do…to FIRST LOVE HIM and then to LOVE OTHERS…let’s go a little bit further into this “loving others thing”….

• We HAVE to get this right because it is the very heart of God! It’s SUPER IMPORTANT!!!

• 1 Peter 1:22-2:3 “Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart. For you have been born again, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable, through the living and enduring word of God. For, “All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of the Lord stands forever.”And this is the word that was preached to you. Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good”

• Peter tells us that we need to do two things in these verses…to love one another deeply and to crave pure spiritual milk…but to do the first, we have to DEEPLY DESIRE the second…

• We first have to understand that when we are “born again” it is an intensely personal thing for us…BUT it is also a time when we become part of a really enormous new family!...We have a new Father and new sisters and brothers…

• The word LOVE here in the first part of verse 22 (have sincere love for your brothers) is the word PHILEO…which means “brotherly love”…which is love that shows CONSIDERATION and KINDNESS….Peter says this love is supposed to be SINCERE….which means genuine, a love that is shown openly, a brotherly love that is WITHOUT SELFISH MOTIVES, an unconditional love that expects nothing in return..brotherly love also can involve self-denial

• I think about my personal kids and how they treat one another…they can get really bent out of shape with each other…sometimes they rub each other the wrong way…they even scream at each other at times and been downright angry…but they haven’t disowned each other…if anyone else tried to hurt or say something about one of them…they would immediately jump to defend or to protect…this is the same kind of relationship that Christian brothers and sisters are in….I think God knows that we get mad or exasperated at each other sometimes…but deep down, we still genuinely care for and love each other…

• Then in the same verse, Peter tells us to “love one another deeply, from the heart”…this is another word for love…AGAPE…which means to love dearly, to be fond of, and to be contented with…..agape DEEPLY…which means fervently, intensely, even energetically

• FYI…”deeply” is an adverb that indicates INTENSITY

• So…………we are not just supposed to love one another with CONSIDERATION and KINDNESS (phileo)…but as if we were immediate family…AGAPE love with the greatest intensity possible!

• Not only DEEPLY and INTENSELY…but “from the heart”…literally that means…”with a pure heart, pure, clean, without any pretense, SELFISHNESS, or ulterior motive”

• In verses 23-25, Peter tells us that we are an IMPERISHABLE FAMILY…in other words…YOU ARE STUCK WITH ME AND ME WITH YOU so we might as well learn to LOVE each other!

• V. 23 “For you have been BORN AGAIN, not of perishable seed, but of imperishable…”

• DEFINITION OF IMPERISHABLE: that will not decay: not liable to become spoiled, weak, or damaged through time and wear, long-lasting: not forgotten or ignored over time enduring, eternal, everlasting, permanent, immortal, perpetual, inextinguishable, indestructible

• So…………….WE NEED TO ACT LIKE FAMILY!!!

• Peter goes on to tell us what this deep loving family should look like…”Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind.”

• MALICE means: ill-will, a desire to injure, willingness to get revenge from an attitude of SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS….in other words…let bygones be bygones…don’t harbor resentments, don’t dwell on each others imperfections, forget the words and actions that may have harmed or hurt you that were either intentional or unintentional

• We are called in the STRONGEST terms to be committed to our new family and the family bond…which is supposed to prevail over all potential ill-will.

• DECEIT: more accurately translated as GUILE means: being cunning to achieve a selfish or secret goal, being tricky or crafty, misleading another person so that he or she will act in a way that benefits you, at its worst it involves crime or fraud, but it also may be as seemingly innocent like “puffing: something up in the sales world (like overstating the benefits of a product, or understating or even hiding its shortcomings to influence the customer to decide to buy it)…in our personal relationships, being GUILEFUL involves deceit, false assurances, insincere compliments; any attempt to influence that even skirts the complete truth.

• HYPOCRISY: insincerity…like when we treat people nicely and then reveal what we really think of them by criticizing and gossiping about them when they aren’t around… (assuming and false appearances)

• ENVY: resenting the good blessings of others because we want what they have

• SLANDER OF EVERY KIND: slander is speaking evil of someone else, defaming them, any communication designed to harm their reputation, gossiping about someone even by stating something that is true if it is designed to hurt them (back-biting)

• Now check this part out…in 2:2 it says that we should “crave pure spiritual milk”…meaning crave the milk of the Word…not just so that you will know more Scripture…but “that you may grow up in your salvation”……….in other words….. the Word not only causes us to grow up more in the ways and understanding of our Savior…but how those ways are to be applied to our BROTHERS AND SISTERS IN CHRIST!

• THINK ABOUT IT THIS WAY: The more correct nourishment we have, the more healthy we grow

• This spiritual milk helps us to keep on keeping on when it comes to maturing in how Jesus wants us to relate to one another!

• There is NO WAY that we can love each other like this in our own strength…it can ONLY come from the power and help of Jesus through the Holy Spirit….

• The question for the day is: Where are you on this love journey with your family in Christ….do you have things that you need to let go of, wrongs done to you that you need to forgive and forget, are there people that you need to ask God to help you walk in more love with, have you had malice or envy or any of that other yuck stuff against other “family members”….let today be a time when you ask God to help you to LOVE as He would have you love….

• We are gonna talk more about this next Monday!!!

• One last verse…

• 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends…”

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1 Corinthians 13:4-8 ESV / 40 helpful votes

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.

Philippians 2:3-10 ESV / 13 helpful votes

Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. ...

Matthew 20:26-28 ESV / 10 helpful votes

It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

John 21:15-16 When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Feed my lambs.” He said to him a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Tend my sheep.”

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