I’m sorry for not being there, I am sorry I didn’t understand



TO MY SISTER

I’m sorry for not being there, I didn’t try to understand

I wish I had sat and listened to you and been there to hold your hand.

I didn’t get to comfort you, in your head you were all alone

The last time I heard your beautiful voice was on the other end of the phone.

You were my sister and my very best friend I should have been there for you

But my anger and feelings about everything were too dark to see through.

I get on with my days trying to block out the truth, its like everything is the same

But then I look at your pictures and hear your voice in my head and

Suddenly there is the pain.

Silly Billy Philly is what you used to say and your laugh would be raucous and loud

I remember spending so much precious time with you, alone or in a crowd.

I want you to come home now please, I don’t want to feel like this anymore

I want to hear the bell ring and answer it and see you stood there at my door.

I need to know that you are okay, that your pain has finally gone

I need to know that you are happy now and that your sun has finally shone.

I miss you every single day, I still cannot believe it is true

I think this is my way of coping, of trying to get through.

I now know that you couldn’t think straight, couldn’t see through the big black cloud

Just remember one thing my special big sis you always made us proud.

I love you sis and always, I will never ever say goodbye

One day I will smile when I think of you and tears of loving memories I will cry.

Love Philly

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