Lauren Ellenberger



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Description and Plans for Group Counseling on

Friendship Skills

“Keeping it Real: Old Friends, New Friends, and Good Friends”

Amber Spicer

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Title of Group: “Keeping it Real: Old Friends, New Friends, and Good Friends”

Grade Level Served: 6th

Purpose of Group: To help 6h grade students learn techniques for acquiring and maintaining friendships.

Demonstration of Need:

Friends compose an extremely important segment of most people’s lives, and thus the topic of friendship deserves attention in our schools. Friends are a part of life that might be taken for granted at times, but the value of friendship is immeasurable. Becoming close friends with another person takes time, effort, and even skills. Some individuals naturally possess strong friendship skills, while others must make conscious efforts to acquire these skills. All students can gain some additional knowledge and skills from classroom guidance lessons on friendship. Children gain a variety of skills from friendships, including social and behavioral skills, interpersonal sensitivity, and validation (Wiener & Schneider, 2002). All of these skills help students become successful adults. Friends rank only second to families in influencing a child’s transition to adulthood (White, 2000). School counselors want to prepare students not only for each level of school but also for adulthood.

This group is especially helpful for students that are brought together from several neighboring elementary schools. Students in middle schools like this are building new friendships and a group counseling experience focusing on friendship can serve to strengthen the bonds within the classroom. Establishing bonds is a crucial skill for students to be successful in school and in life (Clark, 2005). Clark (2005) emphasizes that social skills should be modeled in the classroom as well as other settings throughout the school.

A child’s school experience is strongly dependent upon his/her friendships. Frequently children identify friends as what they enjoy the most about school (White, 2000). This relationship between feelings about school and friendships can be crucial to a student’s academic success. Fostering friendships among students has the potential to better the school experience and even influence academic achievement (White, 2000). School counselors, along with the entire school staff, must promote an accepting environment where all students are encouraged to build bonds of friendship. Reinforcement of new friendship skills learned in the classroom, in group counseling, and at home will be important in student’s success with friendship. Hopefully, this type of positive behavior will influence students’ responses to each other within the classroom setting and eventually beyond school.

Group Description:

Number of Sessions: 6

Length of Each Lesson: 30 minutes

Frequency of Lessons: Once a week

Group: 6-8 6th Grade Girls

Measurable Objectives:

Objective 1: Each student will identify three or more characteristics that she desires in a friend.

Objective 2: Each student will learn the definition of friendship and understand its three components.

Objective 3: Students will learn two ways to communicate positive and negative aspects of a particular friendship to that friend.

Objective 4: Each student will learn at least two ways to make new friends or how help a student who may have a hard time making friends.

Standards Addressed during Group:

Virginia Standards:

• EP1 Exhibit the principles of character, including honesty, trustworthiness, respect for the rights and property of others, respect for rules and laws, taking responsibility for one’s own actions, fairness, caring, and citizenship

• EP2 Understand how to make and keep friends and work cooperatively with others

• EP6 Understand decision making and problem solving strategies

• EP12 Use strategies for handling conflict in a peaceful way

National Standards:

• A:A3.1 Take responsibility for their actions

• PS:A1.5 Identify and express feelings

• PS:A1.6 Distinguish between appropriate and inappropriate behavior

• PS:A2.6 Use effective communication skills

• PS:A2.7 Know that communication involves speaking, listening and nonverbal behavior

• PS:B1.3 Identify alternative solutions to a problem

• PS:B1.4 Develop effective coping skills for dealing with problems

• PS:B1.6 Know how to apply conflict resolution skills

Screening Process:

1. Student Interest Inventory given at the beginning of the school year

2. Teacher Consultation

3. Interview with School Counselor(Supervising Counselor), Practicing Counselor, and Student

Assessment Instruments:

• Student feedback form – to be administered to students two weeks after completion of unit (attached)

• Student Pre-/Post- Assessment- to be administered the first and last session

Overview and Description of Group Counseling Sessions:

Session 1: This session will be an introduction to the concepts of group counseling and will allow the girls to get to know each other. The students will also take the pre-assessment and record two goals that they hope to achieve by the end of the group.

1. When students enter ask them to pick out as many Hershey Kisses as they wish. After they all arrive, the counselor introduces himself/herself. Then go around the circle and have each group member share interesting things about herself-one fact for each Hershey Kiss that they picked. Now, eat.

2. Discuss confidentiality, the purpose of the group, and the group rules (1. Respect each other, 2. Try your best to get as much out of the group as possible, 3. Try not to interrupt someone while they are talking). Make sure students understand these rules and concepts and agree to them.

3. Group Members should complete the Pre-Assessment.

4. Give each student a note card to record two goals that they have regarding this group or, in other words, two things that they would like to gain from being in the group.

5. Review the schedule for the next session and the location. Assign homework-each girl is to decorate her manila folder with their name and at least three drawings that represent them.

Session 2: This session will allow the girls to have another opportunity to build rapport and trust with each other and the counselor. The students will also identify characteristics that they look for in a friend and discuss general aspects of friendship.

1. Counselor greets group. Students share the information on their manila folder.

2. Counselor reviews confidentiality and the rules of the group.

3. Have students think of two of their best friends. Then think about why they think these two names that they chose are their best friend. Share thoughts aloud. Complete “Friendship Qualities” Worksheet.

4. Discuss why they think it may be important for you to think about what makes a good friend to you. Also, share why knowing what you like in a friend may be something good to know for the future.

5. Allow group members to discuss current problems that they may be having with friendships. Utilize other group members to help generate solutions as to how to work friendship problems out productively and positively.

Session 3: During this session, the girls will discuss problems that they may have in friendships and how they handle them. They will learn and practice “I messages” as a way of communicating better with friends.

1. Begin session by passing out manila folders and asking how everyone’s week is going.

2. Ask group members to share about a time where they had a conflict with a friend and how they chose to solve it.

3. Explain that communicating can be difficult at times. Demonstrate and model an effective “I message.” Ask students why they think that using an “I message” with a friends may be helpful.

4. Practice “I messages” on current situations that the girls maybe having. If they are uncomfortable sharing or practicing, they could write it out on a note card.

5. Have them try one out on a friend or family member for homework and be ready to share about how it went when they return the following week.

Session 4: The girls will write a letter to a friend sharing a recent problem they may be having in a particular friendship or something they enjoy about that friendship. They will have the opportunity to share if they wish. The focus is on discovering new ways to communicate with friends.

1. Greet group members and share “I message” experiences. Talk about ways they went well and how they could have gone better.

2. Pass out manila folders, writing utensils, and a sheet of notebook paper to each girl.

3. Ask them if they have ever written a letter before. What kinds of things did they include in the letter.

4. Explain that sometimes writing a letter can be a way to communicate if you find it hard to talk to someone face to face. It can be a great way to tell someone how much you appreciate them. It can also be a way to get your thoughts and feelings together before confronting someone and make sure that you don’t say anything that you may regret later.

5. Have the girls think of a friend that they would like to write a short letter to and take 5-10 minutes to write it. Assure the girls that they will not have to share the letters if they do not want to, but it would be nice to get some feedback about how they felt about writing the letters.

6. Encourage them to share their letters if they wanted to when they see their friend in the next week.

Session 5: The leader reviews the previous three sessions. Students will work as a group to complete the activity “Isabel’s Dilemma” about cliques. The girls will brainstorm activities to do with friends, and share ways they could make or have made new friends.

1. Pass out folders, writing utensils, and “Isabel’s Dilemma” worksheet.

2. Discuss how it was for them coming to a middle school with so many new people from so many elementary schools.

3. Explain the function of problem-based learning and have group complete the worksheet.

4. Share their responses to their worksheet.

5. Discuss ways that they could make new friends or help others make new friends at their school.

6. Allow group members to discuss current problems that they may be having with friendships. Utilize other group members to help generate solutions as to how to work friendship problems out productively and positively.

Session 6: This session will be a conclusion session. The counselor will review the goals with the group and make sure that everyone was able to make strides toward that goal. The students will take the Post-Assessment and discuss what they will use from the group to assist with friendships in the future.

1. Pass out materials and greet group members.

2. Allow group members to discuss current problems that they may be having with friendships. Utilize other group members to help generate solutions as to how to work friendship problems out productively and positively.

3. Review materials in the manila folders and discuss what they have learned from the group. Ask if they feel they have gotten closer to reaching their goals for the group.

4. Administer Post-Assessment

5. Allow students to take materials with them and tell them how much you enjoyed working with them. Alert them that you will be following up in the next few weeks to make sure that they are doing well.

Materials Needed:

-manila folder for each group member

-pencil or pen and some crayons for each group member

-Characteristics of a Friend worksheet for each student

- Friendship Qualities worksheet for each student

- a pack of note cards or paper for group members

Data Reporting Methods:

• Assessment results will be available to be shared with the following parties at counselor’s discretion:

o Administration

o Teachers

o Parents

o Students

• A GRIP Model will be used to display results of the group

References

Clark, M. A. (2005, January/February). Building connections, communication and character

in classrooms [Electronic version]. ASCA School Counselor.

Girls Inc. (2006). Coping with cliques. Retrieved September 25, 2006, from



Millman, D. (1991). Secret of the peaceful warrior. Tiburon, CA: HJ Kramer, Inc.

White, J. (2000, July 2). Friends play important role in shaping lives [Electronic version]. The

Spokesman Review.

Wiener, J., & Schneider, B. H. (2002, April). A multisource exploration of the friendship

patterns of children with and without learning disabilities [Electronic version]. Journal of

Abnormal Child Psychology.

**PARENT PERMISSION LETTER TO BE PRINTED ON SCHOOL LETTERHEAD**

January 22, 2008

Dear Parent/Guardian,

The counseling program at your child’s school is offering the opportunity for your student to participate in a group that will to develop friendship skills called “Keeping It Real!” During this group, we will be exploring ways to make new friends, maintain healthy friendships, and solve conflicts that can sometimes occur among friends.

Students in this group will meet once a week for six to eight weeks in the school counseling conference room. The times that have been set aside for group meetings are not during core classes and have already been discussed with your student’s teacher so as to make sure that the least amount of class time will be missed.

If you would like for your student to participate in this group, please complete the permission slip below and have your student return this portion only to Mrs. Spicer in room 1607. If you have any other questions or concerns about the group, please contact Tammy Blevins or Amber Spicer at 328-4110.

Thank you so much for your time, and I am truly looking forward to hearing from you and spending time with your student.

Sincerely,

Amber Spicer

Teacher Elko Middle School

VCU School Counseling Graduate Student

Date: __________________

Please check one below and then sign.

_______ YES, I give permission for my student, ________________________, to participate in the group, “Keeping it Real!”

_______ NO, I do not give permission for my student, ________________________, to participate in the group, “Keeping it Real!”

Parent/Guardian signature: ___________________________

Parent/Guardian printed name: ________________________

Daytime Contact Number:____________________________

Name: ________________________

“Keeping It Real: Old Friends, New Friends, and Good Friends”

Pre-/Post-Assessment

Please answer the following questions regarding this counseling group. Thank you for your help!

Please circle a response for each question. None Somewhat Mostly Always

0 1 2 3

Do you feel like your friendships are friendships 0 1 2 3

that make you very happy?

Have you made any efforts to make new friends 0 1 2 3

this year?

Do you feel like you use effective ways to tell 0 1 2 3

your friends how you feel about the friendship?

Name three characteristics that you look for in a friend.

_______________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________

Name two ways that you communicate with your friends.

_______________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________

Name two ways that you can make a new friend.

1. _____________________________________________________________________

2. _____________________________________________________________________

Name:

Friendship Qualities

Directions: Please circle the qualities that you desire in a friend.

accepting caring cheerful considerate

cooperative dependable encouraging fair

forgiving fun generous good listener

good sport helpful honest kind

loyal patient sense of humor sincere

thoughtful tolerant trustworthy understanding

List the six qualities from the list above that you want most in a friend.

I want a friend who is:

1._____________ 2._______________3.______________

4._____________ 5._______________6.______________

Of the six you chose, list three that are the most important to you.

Most of all I want a friend of mine to be:

1.______________ 2.______________ 3.______________

Of all the qualities on the list, I need to work harder on ____________________________ and _____________________________.



|Isabel's Dilemma |

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|[pic] |

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|I guess the other girls at school think I'm kind of weird. They don't tease me a lot, but they never ask me to sit with them |

|at lunch or include me in anything. I'm always the last person to get picked for a team in gym. I try to pretend that I don’t |

|care, but inside it hurts so much! |

| |

|  |

|What should Isabel do? |

|It's important for Isabel and anyone who feels isolated to realize that they have done nothing wrong. None of this is her |

|fault. The kids in the "popular" clique probably feel just as insecure about themselves as everyone else. By excluding others,|

|kids are really trying to make themselves feel more acceptable. |

|This will pass with time. In the meantime, Isabel might want to look for friends among the boys in her class or by getting |

|involved in different clubs and activities at school or outside of school. |

| |

|  |

|Top of Form |

|[pic]Do you have any advice for Isabel or for girls who do get teased or excluded? |

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|_____________________________________________________________ |

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|_____________________________________________________________ |

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|_____________________________________________________________ |

| |

|_____________________________________________________________ |

| |

|_____________________________________________________________ |

|Bottom of Form |

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