THE HEARTIES



THE HEARTIES

NEWSLETTER

Charity No. 1089481 January 2016 No. 228

The January Meeting / Party

This was our New Year party which was, once again, very well attended. The buffet put together by Jackie was magnificent. With your generous donations of food and drink over the preceding few months we were able to create six large hampers to raffle. Everyone appeared to enjoy themselves and I would like to thank those of you who helped on the night and donated cakes, chocolate logs quiches, sausage rolls and mince pies, etc. Below are photos of the six hampers and the buffet before it was attacked!

We postponed the AGM until next month’s meeting for want of time (see below).

The February Meeting and AGM

This will be held on Thursday 11th February at the British Legion, Western Road, Romford from about 7.30pm. We will hold our AGM which usually does not take long. If anyone would like to serve on the committee please let me know or just come forward on the evening. In accordance with our constitution the whole committee must resign although any or all may be re-elected.

As mentioned in the last newsletter we are going to hold a bring and buy auction in the hope that it will be as successful as the one held last year. The items to be auctioned will be donated by you. Any items in good condition or new such as unwanted presents that you no longer want should be brought along to be auctioned off. Please bring along items if you can and remember it is intended to be a fun evening. Bring some spare cash as well! Funds raised will be used for our members’ benefit. If you wish you may put up items with a reserve price otherwise they will be sold to the highest bidder regardless of the amount. You will be required to take home any of your items not sold.

Just to let you know we hope to hold a quiz in March.

The Back Door - Important

I am referring to the door by the stage which we use to bring in and take out equipment. It is also used by some members as a short cut to the car park. After the last meeting when most of you had left I was approached by the club secretary who told me that the door is alarmed and referred to a notice on the door which states that it should only be opened in an emergency. She suggested that I should take up reading lessons. I did not respond which may surprise you but I had to put your interests first as it would not be easy to find another venue. I am therefore asking you all not to use this door as, in fairness, we would be breaking a club rule. I know that this may be inconvenient for those who do not get around easily. Perhaps being dropped off at the main door would help-but not if you are driving!

Donations

Many thanks for a cheque received from Eileen French, stamps and envelopes from Brian Hart, printing paper from Bill Warden and some more stamps from Mr Holden and Mr and Mrs Sheehy for which we are very grateful. Jackie mislaid her notes after the meeting and has asked me to apologise if we have left anyone out.

Books at the Meetings

Jackie has asked me to remind everyone that we usually put out second-hand books at our meetings for members to take home if they are interested. New members may not be aware of this and that they may also leave a small donation for any book taken but this is entirely discretionary.

The Great War

I refer to the details of this great publication which appeared in the last newsletter. The offer of a yearly subscription at half price (£15) is available until June. Please contact me if you require any further information. Thank you to those who have already taken up the offer including the grandfather for his grandson and who told me that they are very pleased with the result.

We Get Wealthier With Age

Silver in the Hair 

Gold in the Teeth.

Stones in the Kidneys  

Sugar in the Blood. ....sugar factory

Lead in the Feet. 

Iron in the Arteries.

And an inexhaustible supply of Natural Gas. 

We never thought we’d accumulate such wealth!!

Who is Your Role Model?

Each of us is the result of the influence of many people. However some individuals have played a significant role in our development, they are often called "role models" that we consciously or unconsciously imitate. Perhaps you know who that person is, or perhaps you don't. The world renowned Sir Trevor Rigelsworth, PhD, has given us a simple way to determine our role model. It is easy and only takes a minute and it may surprise you.

WHO IS YOUR ROLE  MODEL?

Be sure not to peek! You don't want to skew your answer.

Try this - it's really neat.

Don't look at the answers:

1) Pick your favorite number between 1-9

2) Multiply by 3 then

3) Add 3, then again Multiply by 3 (I'll wait while you get the Calculator....)

4) You'll get a 2 or 3 digit number....

5) Add the digits together

With that number, see who your ROLE MODEL is from the list  below:

1. Mother Teresa

2. Albert Einstein

3. David Beckham

4. George Clooney

5. Bill Gates

6. Adele

7. David Cameron

8. The Pope

9. Ken Richmond P.S. Stop picking different numbers!

Found on the Refrigerator One Morning

My Dear Wife,

You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 57 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don't be upset —— I shall be home before midnight.

 When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table:

My Dear Husband,

I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 57 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 57 years old. As you know, I am a maths teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is 18 years old. As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of maths, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference, 18 goes into 57 a lot more times than 57 goes into 18.

Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.

Nude Beach A mother and father take their 6-year old son to a family nude beach...As the boy walks along the sand, he notices that many of the women have boobs bigger than his mother's, so he goes back to ask her why. She tells her son, 'The bigger they are, the sillier the lady is.' The boy, pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have larger things than his dad does. She replies, 'The bigger they are, the dumber the man is' Again satisfied with her answer, the boy goes back to the ocean to play Shortly thereafter, the boy returns and promptly tells his mother 'Daddy is talking to the silliest lady on the beach, and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets.

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