AFFAIR HEALING

AFFAIR HEALING

A Recovery Manual for Betrayed Partners

by Tim Tedder, LMHC, NCC

? 2015, Currents Counseling Services LLC

PLEASE NOTE:

This book, or parts thereof,

may not be reproduced or distributed

in any form without permission,

except for brief quotes or reviews

for non?profit use.

Book Purchase & Information:



Contact the Author:

tim@

? 2015, Tim Tedder, LMHC, NCC | | Affair Healing: A Manual for Betrayed Spouses

Contents

Preface

How To Use This Manual

Introduction

CHAPTERS

Chapter 1: Consider Your Options, then Schedule Your Decision

Chapter 2: Make Careful Choices Regarding the Affair Partner

Chapter 3: Release Your Grip on a Wayward Spouse

Chapter 4: Establish Your Boundaries

Chapter 5: Expand Your Personal Support

Chapter 6: Stop Protecting Secrets & Lies

Chapter 7: Help Your Spouse Understand Your Pain

Chapter 8: Get to the Truth Carefully but Certainly

Chapter 9: Determine Who You Will Become, With or Without Your Marriage

Chapter 10: Regain Control of Thoughts and Feelings

Chapter 11: Move Intentionally Toward Forgiveness, Cautiously Toward Trust

Chapter 12: Invest in Qualified Counseling, Together or Alone

Chapter 13: Know Which Direction to Move

Chapter 14: Commit to Conversations that Connect

WORKSHEETS

W1: Staying, Leaving, Waiting?

W2: The Benefits & Risks of Contacting the Affair Partner

W3: Know What You Control

W4: Training Your 2 Guards

W5: To Tell or Not To Tell

W6: Empathy Exercise

W7: Asking the Right Questions

W8: Ongoing Affair Conversations

W9: Apart or Together?

W10: Journaling Guide

W11: List of Offenses

W12: Before the Affair

W13: Counseling Prep Worksheet

W14: Move?Toward Journal

W15: Triple?A Conversation

References & Resources

Bible Study Guide

About the Author

? 2015, Tim Tedder, LMHC, NCC | | Affair Healing: A Manual for Betrayed Spouses

Preface

My response to any suggestion that I write book about infidelity has always been, ¡°Why

would I want to do that?¡± Good affair recovery books, by authors much smarter than I,

have already been written. (I will mention them in this manual, in case you are not

aware.) And, besides,the process does not come easily to me. If anything I scribble comes

across as interesting or insightful, it requires a lot of effort to make it seem that way. For

those reasons, ¡°write a book¡± has never been on my bucket list.

But you are reading this preface, so obviously I changed my mind. Why? Because I

wanted to create a more versatile resource. This manual is written in a way that allows

you to use it ¡°as is¡± for individual healing, or with its companion manual (written for

unfaithful spouses) for couple's working together. Exercises and worksheets have been

included to make this an effective self?help tool.

Comments from men and women in affair recovery have been used extensively

throughout the chapters. Their opinions and insights were gathered from emails, session

notes, written stories, and posts in the AH Community forum. Actual names and any

identifying details have been altered to protect confidentiality.

Despite my previous hesitation to add another book to the library of infidelity literature, I

believe the Affair Healing manuals offer a uniquely useful approach to recovery. Time

will tell how this book is judged, but I hope you will find it valuable in your journey

toward healing.

Sincerely,

Tim Tedder, LMHC, NCC

Currents Counseling Services, LLC



? 2015, Tim Tedder, LMHC, NCC | | Affair Healing: A Manual for Betrayed Spouses

How To Use This Manual

Who Should Use It?

If you have been betrayed by a spouse or partner and have not decided to be done with

them yet, this manual will give you clear directions toward the restoration of your

marriage while maintaining your own health and wellbeing. It will help you know

exactly what to do during the next weeks and months.

Use Alone or with Your Spouse

This manual is written in a unique style that allows it to be easily used as a guide for

individuals or for couples. The workbook is divided into two parts: (1) exercises that are

listed at the end of each chapter and (2) worksheets provided in their own section

following the last chapter. Each chapter's exercise will provide instructions for the use of

any recommended worksheet.

A Manual for Individuals: Although the chapters are written in a kind of progressions,

feel free to jump to ones that are of most interest to you right now. Follow the Exercises

for Individuals instructions provided at the end of each chapter. Go at your own pace.

A Manual for Couples: Your partner will need to use the manual was written as a

companion to this one: Affair Healing: A Recovery Manual for Unfaithful Spouses

(available at ). Each chapter of this manual relates in theme to the

same chapter in the companion manual, although the content is quite different.

Couples can proceed at their own pace. It is recommended that you and your spouse work

through the entire manual one chapter at a time, but if you skip any parts, make sure you

both are reading the same chapter number and following the Exercises for Couples

instructions provided at the end of that chapter.

The PDF Advantage

This version of the Affair Healing recovery manual is available to you in PDF format,

which provides these advantages:

¡ñ It can be readily downloaded.

¡ñ You can print the worksheet pages. (The Contents page shows you which pages to

print for each worksheet.)

¡ñ It can be easily read on most devices, including desktop computers and tablets. (If

you use a smartphone, you¡¯ll want to rotate the document so that it appears in

landscape mode for easier reading.)

? 2015, Tim Tedder, LMHC, NCC | | Affair Healing: A Manual for Betrayed Spouses

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