Active listening good listeners

[Pages:9]active listening

Presentation By Jaime Engelhart & Stephanie Lineman

good listeners

? Most people believe they are good listeners. ? Listening for the sake of a conversation is easy.

But listening with the intent to empathize - understand how the other person thinks and feels - is quite difficult.

things that interfere

selective listening

? This happens when the listener doesn't pay attention (consciously or unconsciously) to what the other person is saying, either because they (i) don't like or respect the person or (ii) they don't agree with the other person. In such cases, often due to personal prejudices or a strong conviction, the listener tends to automatically disregard and 'tune out' what they disagree.

jumping to conclusion

? Some people don't listen carefully because (i) they assume they know what the speaker is going to say next or (ii) they believe the speaker has some hidden motives. In both cases the speaker spends more time trying to figure out a reply or in 'uncovering' the hidden motives than actually listening.

passive listening

? Passive listeners don't participate in the conversation when they disagree with the speakers and pretend to agree or compromise to avoid any confrontation.

relative listening

? There is a joke that there are two kinds of people in this world - one who will listen to you when you tell him not to pee on a fence (because it is electrified) and the other, who will disregard your advice and insist on peeing on the fence to find out if you were right.

rehearsing

? Some shy and anxious individuals worry about freezing up in a conversation, so they spend a lot of time in thinking about what to say next. Hence, they aren't able to pay attention and often miss out on what the speaker is actually saying.

what we hear

? We remember about 25-50% of what we hear. ? That means that when you talk to your boss,

colleagues, customers or spouse for 10 minutes, they only really hear 2?-5 minutes of the conversation.

five key elements

? Pay attention. Give the speaker your undivided attention and acknowledge the message. Recognize that what is not said also speaks loudly.

? Show that you are listening. Use your own body language and gestures to convey your attention.

continued...

? Provide feedback. Our personal filters, assumptions, judgments, and beliefs can distort what we hear. As a listener, your role is to understand what is being said. This may require you to reflect what is being said and ask questions.

? Defer judgment. Interrupting is a waste of time. It frustrates the speaker and limits full understanding of the message.

one last element...

? Respond Appropriately. Active listening is a model for respect and understanding. You are gaining information and perspective. You add nothing by attacking the speaker or otherwise putting him or her down.

tips

? If you find yourself responding emotionally to what someone said, say so, and ask for more information: "I may not be understanding you correctly, and I find myself taking what you said personally. What I thought you just said is XXX; is that what you meant?"

? If you're finding it particularly difficult to concentrate on what someone is saying, try repeating their words mentally as they say it ? this will reinforce their message and help you control mind drift.

questions?

resources

? sten.html

? urmanagementskills/updated_flash/topic13b/quiz.htm l

? . htm

? ? ?

listening.html

presentation skills

Presentation By Jaime Engelhart

remember...

? We remember about 25-50% of what we hear. ? That means that when you talk to your boss,

colleagues, customers or spouse for 10 minutes, they only really hear 2?-5 minutes of the conversation.

starting a presentation

? Get people's attention ? Welcome them ? Introduce yourself ? State the purpose of your presentation ? State how you want to deal with

questions

when you speak

? You can move around the room ? You can make eye contact with everybody ? You can reach all your props and teaching

material easily ? You're involving your whole body in the

presentation ? You're sending out the signal to the

participants that `this will be short'

dealing with questions

? That's a very interesting question. ? I'm glad you've asked that question. ? A good question. ? I'm sorry but I don't have that information to hand. ? Can I get back to you about that? ? I'm afraid I can't answer that. ? I'm not in a position to comment on that. ? As I said earlier, ... ? I think I answered that when I said ... ? I did mention that. ? I don't see the connection. ? I'm sorry, I don't follow you. ? I think that is a very different issue.

things to keep in mind

? Add humor whenever appropriate and possible.

? Maintain sincere eye contact with your audience.

? Use the 3-second method, e.g. look straight into the eyes of a person in the audience for 3 seconds at a time.

? Body language is important.

things others notice

? The Good ? The Bad ? The Ugly

presentation fundamentals

? Get Feedback ? Video Yourself ? Be Prepared ? Stay Relaxed

tips

? Use visual aids where you can ? Rehearse, rehearse, rehearse ? The audience will only remember three

messages (what do you want them to take away?)

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