That Witch Life



Episode 55: Dia De Los Muertos With Monica Divane Plus Halloween And Samhain Rites.Mon, 10/26 11:57AM ? 1:30:45SUMMARY KEYWORDSsamhain, ancestors, witch, good, ginger, food, offering, put, altar, dia de los, practice, eat, find, year, anxiety, herbs, including, monica, sacred, magicSPEAKERSKanani, Intro music, Courtney , Hilary, Monica Divane, (Exit Music)Intro music 00:0320 years ago, three young friends realized they were witches. They scattered to different parts of the world, following magic and spirit. Now, they're back in their hometown to share what they've learned. Welcome to That Witch Life Podcast. Your home for living as a witch in today's world.Kanani 00:48Hello, witches. Welcome to another episode of that witch life podcast. This is Kanani and I am going to be hosting this episode. I am joined by my fellow co hosts, Hilary.Hilary 01:01HelloKanani 01:02and Courtney.Courtney 01:03Hi everybody.Kanani 01:05It is almost Samhain and Halloween and Dia de los Muertos. So we're super excited because we are going to be joined later by Monica Divane. And she's going to be talking to us about modern practices for Dia de lost Muertos. And but before that Courtney is going to be talking to us about the Blue Moon coming up, which we've had lots of listeners writing in asking us about. It's a very magical time, very powerful time. And Hilary is also going to be talking to us about ginger. So how is everybody doing?Courtney 01:40I'm gonna have "Come Little Children" stuck in my head for the rest of my life. But I love it. I'm okay with it.Hilary 01:49Oh my god. So you're gonna be creepy for the rest of your life then?Courtney 01:55Well, I mean, I was already that way. I'm just leaning into it more. It's like what Dolly Parton said "figure out who you are, and be it on purpose". I'm the creepy witch with the house full of Halloween decorations beckoning that small children with the large candy bars, except not really this year because of COVID. I will be passing them out with tongs though. If anybody actually comes by.Hilary 02:16For anyone that is wondering what the hell Courtney is talking about. If you are on our Patreon, we did a viewing of Hocus Pocus.Courtney 02:26Yes. And it was so much fun. Hilary 02:27It was really fun. Courtney had never seen it, which is like a witch failure on her part. But it was really fun.Courtney 02:35To my credit. I tried to watch it on an airplane last year, but yeah, and I feltHilary 02:41even if it was last year, dude, that thing came out in the 90sKanani 02:46FAILCourtney 02:46I know. Right? You know, it came out at an age. I was 12. And so you're too cool for kids stuff. But you don't really get into like the super scary stuff. So I kind of fell in that weird space where you're like, you don't like anything when you're 12. And I just never picked it back up.Hilary 03:08Fail.Courtney 03:10I was hoping you'd say fair and said You said fail.Hilary 03:14I mean, you had from 12 to now to watch it.Courtney 03:18Yah I know. Well, but you know what, at least I'm here now. I've joined the team. Yeah, I'm here. I'm with us.Hilary 03:28I'm with us.Courtney 03:29I'm with us. I'm inHilary 03:31Oh my God. That's so funny. What have I been up to? This is our last couple of days with our foster pig Walter. So we've been having a lot of Walter hangouts and also people rushing over to meet Walter before he heads to his forever home. And so that's been kind of fun. And I did a really lovely class with Q-Meb with Erica fourtner. They did a scrying class, which was really interesting. So I did that, which was lovely. She's a great teacher. So and her classes are always really interesting and informative. So that was really nice. Kanani 04:11Speaking of people rushing over to see Walter, the kids and I went over to Hillary's house this morning before the Hocus Pocus viewing, because I know that he's going to his forever home soon and the kids are kept watching videos of him. And we have lots of friends with lots of different animals and my kids are obsessed with animals. We watch animal documentaries all the time. And you don't really get that many like in person opportunities necessarily to like pet a pig. And so I was like, okay, we're gonna we're gonna have to do this. This has to be a priority. So of course, for breakfast. I usually try and make my kids a hot breakfast on the weekends. And today was cinnamon rolls and sausage. Well apparently my kids don't like sausage. They only like bacon. So I had to yell at them and tell them that if they didn't eat their sausage that they couldn't go play with the pig. Hilary 05:06Oh my god. Kanani 05:06So as soon as I said it, I'm like, yeah, if you don't eat the pig, you don't get to play withHilary 05:12your like, you're like, Wow, that's a very fucked up thing I just said,Courtney 05:16Is this is disturbing. I'm sitting here like, Is this just because sometimes I'm just kind of dense when it comes to what's disturbing. And so I'm like, was that disturbing? What Kanani just did? Right there?Hilary 05:25I mean, it could be deemed disturbing depending on your viewpoint Kanani 05:29Yeah if you don't eat the pig, then you can't go pet the pig. Like that's that's how this works. So then after I forced them to eat the pig. Then we went and played with a pig. And it was actually really fun. And I still have dirt on my legs from Walter because I didn't I still have not changed. Because we went over there and he has his like, filthy, filthy nose. And he just kept like, rubbing his nose on my pant the bottom of my pant legs and and my ankles. And so yeah, he's like, pig nose hurt on my on my legs.Hilary 06:00Yeah, snout marks. He's like, this seems like a good place to clean up clean off my nose. Like,Kanani 06:06exactly I am, I am his, I was his personal hanky. And so I will have ppig nose dirt all over me. But the kids had a good time. And they, they as soon as we get in the car, and we're leaving. They're like, we want a pet pig. I'm like, Oh my god, and everyone. Everyone wants a pet pig. But we're not gonna have one. 100% I'd have a pig for a dog.Hilary 06:29Also, pigs are smarter than dogs, and more mischievous. So if having a dog would overwhelm you, having a pig is like next level,Kanani 06:40I could I could do a pig. Because the thing that I don't like about one of the reasons I will not have a dog is because of how dependent they are. Hilary 06:49Pigs are just as dependant.Kanani 06:51Pigs can be in their pen and have their space and they still need care. It's nothing, I have no problem with the care. It's the you know, pigs are not going to try and go to the grocery store with me. Like that's just not going to happen like, Courtney 07:07but it will dig up underneath the pen and follow you to the grocery store.Hilary 07:10Yeah, it will like dig a hole under the fence and try and find you at the grocery store. Or it might eat every herb you have in your herb garden. Or it might try and dig a hole in your nice planter. I mean, like they are totally awesome. But I want to be clear to those going, Oh, a pig would be fun. It's very similar to having a dog and they take just as much training because they're very smart. But the thing that they need is more than most dogs is mental stimulus. So it actually takes a lot. You know, like either they, especially if you only have one pig like you, they have to have a lot of mental stimulus because they're very intelligent, so they get bored easily. And when they're bored, they become very destructive. They like start just ripping up everything. So it's like, it's not so different than having a dog. There's my schpeelCourtney 08:09you're like today's Bob Barker, please spay and neuter your pets. Also do your research before adopting your pig. Hilary 08:14I mean, like Yeah, do your freakin research before you adopt anything.Courtney 08:19Well, I just did a very delicious New Moon cleanse on the house. We had not had a good deep floor wash since before the fires. So as we talked about about a month ago, I didn't want to do any smoke cleansings in the house, because I was so sick of breathing smoke and also we really couldn't vacuum because it just kicks up more dust. And so the last New Moon, I didn't do a floor wash because you can't really do a floor wash until you vacuumed first but we've now moved past that enough to be able to do it and I tell you I just feel so much better. I just felt like whenever I do a floor wash I find myself having a moment where I start to relive arguments for a moment or I relive moments that are uncomfortable. And then once that's done I find myself not revisiting them again for a while. And so it's been really it's been really helpful and I had a dream last night where everybody I don't remember what was going on. I just remember that everybody was happy, like hanging out with people and being in a good space and my husband said this morning the house just feels good. So I'm just thankful that now we can do our house cleansing again and it felt really like the right time to do a nice deep cleanse before we go into Samhain and the new year and yeah, which and this this energy around this time of year can be very heavy anyway, and with as much as we have going on with the pandemic and like a lot of of angsty negativity around the election. At least in our home. It feels nice and calm. So that was my thing of the week my witch thing of the week which I am savoring, and I always get so lazy just before I want to do a floor wash, I try to talk myself out of it because it involves pulling out the herbs researching which ones I want to do boiling them, mixing it up and then mopping which is not my favorite chore, because when it's done, I feel so much better. So much better. This floor wash this time was mostly herbs that I pulled from my yard, some that people gave me but I use lemon balm and Hairy bittercress from Kanani and I harvested a bunch of that out of our yard, and a little bit of dill for luck, some salt, and just boiled that up for a while and nettle. I also use metal that was the herb that someone gave me. And all those herbs are really good for removing negativity, and drawing luck, and peace in the home. So I prayed over it. And I waved a feather over it just to you know, make sure that the water knew what its job was, which was to cleanse and protect our home. And GOD feel good. I just I just need to do that more often. Yeah, for just about my weekly personal cleansings I think I'd be a great witchHilary 11:13I know. Yeah, I every time I do like I did a I think I said this. And I don't know, I've done this a couple times. And I don't know which episode I mentioned it on. But every time I do like a cleansing of a space, like I did not that long ago, one on my workspace because I was like feeling really unfocused and really like kind of scattered and sluggish. And then I did like a cleansing of my workspace. And I was like, Hi, so much better. I feel like happy to come into my workspace. Now I'm not like that room, you know. So it makes a big difference.Kanani 11:48Because we pretty much just have carpets, what I usually do will be like, I'll spray my ocean water. And sometimes I'll put essential oils and whatnot and baking soda, sprinkle that around and just kind of vacuum it. But why don't you go ahead and talk to us a little bit about the Blue Moon magic coming upCourtney 12:07You know, it's funny, I feel like, you know, there's all those means we're going on saying guys don't screw up Halloween for us, because it is a blue moon, a full moon and it's daylight savings time is you know, is ending. And so we have a orto a beginning, right, whatever, whatever makes the night longer is what's happening on Halloween. And so a lot of people were upset because they may not be able to go out and run around, which is its own sadness. But magically speaking, I think we're really getting a benefit because it's like the spirits are saying, sit in your rooms and make some serious magic, you can't go anywhere. This is a real gift. So a little bit of background. So in North America, the full moon in October is called the hunter's moon. Historically, this was a time when the harvest was finished, and many of the hunts concluded. So the food stores were generally full. So magically speaking, this is an excellent moon for preservation and protection of what is going well. So look around take stock of what is is going really well for you in your life and consider doing additional protections on those things to help keep your your good luck going or to grow it throughout the year. So one of the ways to do this is to get a jar and fill it with effigies of things that are going well. So maybe a business card. If you've had success with business this year, on a note of paper money from your wallet like in the US, we might use a single dollar bill doesn't need to be a giant bill, but maybe just maybe a buck or something like that. If your money has been good, maybe it's a picture of you and your beloved's if, or your beloved person if your relationships have been really nourishing this year. Other things like acorns or nuts which can really represent health, anything that's evocative of the blessings that you have going on in a pinch, you can always just write them down on a piece of paper. Consider including some of your own personal what they call curios, which are parts of yourself that it's it's kind of attracting these energies to your physical form. So this may sound kind of gross, but sometimes witchcraft gets gross. So like some fingernail clippings or some snippet of your hair, or some people do saliva or something like that. And place these things in with the symbols of your blessings in a jar with protective herbs or herbs that draw protect luck. So a couple of things that are really helpful with protecting or drawing luck, include salt, so imagine like you are salting and curing and preserving the things that are really going well for you. Rice is another good one, dried beans or black eyed peas. So a common practice this a lot of my magic is was taught to me by hoodoo practitioners, so I want to name that first. And so that's where a lot of this is coming from. And a common practice within hoodoo is to you know if you have a jar which represents the things that you are are are good for you know are you want to protect is to burn a candle on top of it, letting the wax burn down and drip around the jar as effectively sealing it in. A lot of people use white candles, which are good for full moon magic, I like white because it's kind of an all purpose candle. And also it mimics the, the the white light of the full moon. But you can also use black and I like black candles, because they really cover and protect, alright, it's just kind of like putting a cloth over something it's not no one's going to see it. So it's, it provides the additional benefit of protecting your luck from potentially the like what people call the evil eye or jealousy or people that may not have your best intentions at heart and start looking at you through social media and kind of growing because you have some things going on for yourself that they would like to have going on for themselves. And so black wax is good for covering that say, Hey, I'm my stuff's protected, nobody notices all the good stuff that I have going on. So this year, the hunter's moon falls on Halloween on October 31. And a full moon only happens on Halloween about every 18 to 19 years. Okay, because of Halloween or Samhain, more Dia de los Muertos, whatever your preferred term is for this time of year because of this holidays, connections to ancestors. And because a generation is typically 18 to 19 years, this year's Hunter's Moon is a particularly powerful full moon to work on generational healing, okay. So what this might mean is consulting your ancestors for their health and healing rifts among the living relatives, or here healing generational patterns that hurt. So for example, if your great great grandparent was under extreme duress, due to their living circumstances, maybe they had an abusive spouse, maybe they were living in poverty, a lot of our ancestors, a couple, you know, we're dealing with these things, chances are good that you are still affected by that, whether this is actually in your DNA or because of habits that were put into the family as a way of surviving and navigating the situation that may or may not still be applicable to the way that you live. So you know, I have some very anxious ancestors myself. And so I do a lot of work on, on healing, what the injuries that they had, that caused them anxiety, so I don't have anxiety about similar things that really, really don't have the same kind of level of, of intensity, other things that can be patterns within families, attraction to unstable relationships, unhealthy relationships with food or money or otherwise, this is a really good time to start working to heal these rifts so that they are not passed down to future generations. So this can be done by making offerings on an ancestor altar, and praying for the healing and elevation of the injured ancestors. If you are comfortable, and only if you are comfortable, okay, in praying in the religion of your ancestors, that is often a very quick and easy way to help them as they are going to know those prayers. All right. However, if you have trauma around your ancestor's religion, if you were abused through your ancestor's religion, you do not need to return to that to help them elevate. Likewise, if your ancestors harmed you, right, you don't you don't owe it to them. Okay, so this is these are decisions you have to make for yourself. These are just options of things that you could do, but nobody has to do any of this. Now, if you do want to pray for the elevation healing of your ancestors, and you don't want to go through their religion, again, absolutely understandable, pagan gods and spirits are always more than happy to help. There are some gods who are better with ancestry and healing than others. But in truth, all of them have the capability to help with healing and ancestor elevation. So go with the ones you feel the most comfortable with. Okay, so say, say that you are you do a lot of work and you're in relationship with the goddess Bridgid, not typically known for as much ancestor work, but she could do it. Now may not be the time to say switch over and start working with Hades, if you're not familiar and know already have that relationship, because so just just, you know, be realistic with yourself and say, Okay, my gods and spirits may not be necessarily gods that work with ancestors, but they can help out in a pinch. Right? SoHilary 19:26I was just gonna say one other thing, too, is that it's not... working with your ancestors doesn't mean you have to work with every ancestor. Courtney 19:35Exactly. Hilary 19:36throwing that out there. I mean, there are some of mine that that are not that I don't feel appropriate working with. And that's totally cool for you to do too.Courtney 19:44Exactly. That's what Queen Mother said when we interviewed her back in March, something like some belong on your altar, some belong in the photo book and some don't belong in your house at all. So I again repeating what I said earlier, making it very clear. You don't owe all of your ancestors things but this if you feel like this is work, you're called to do that it might be helpful to you in the now this is a good time to do it. So these are just resources and ideas. I will be recording a healing ancestors meditation, and we'll have it on our Patreon page. So that's available if you would like to use it. And I also want to say this should, if at all possible, be combined with therapy. And oftentimes ancestors will lead you to resources that can help you heal yourself. So just this work on its own, is not necessarily going to be all the work you should do. So be open to try to get yourself some help. And the reason why this can be very important and beneficial work not just for your ancestors and yourself but also for future generations. So even if you do not have children or not planning to have children, you still have an influence on children just because you're in the world. So it is doing a service when when appropriate, and when it's with specific ancestors that you're ready to work with, to help make make make us all stronger as part of this human family. Now, this Halloween is also a blue moon. So a blue moon is called as such not because it looks blue, but because it's the second full moon within a month, which happens only about once every two and a half years. So that phrase once in a blue moon means it doesn't happen very often. So blue moons simply have more energy than other full moons. So it's a really great time to turn up the volume on your magic altogether. So be strategic, though not scared, but strategic on what you choose your magic for. This doesn't mean to, you know, to wring your hands about it to be worried about it. I know that phrase, be careful what you wish for what you might get it that happens with all magic. definitely ask for the things that you want. Just don't be flippant about it. You know, and don't be nebulous. Remember, I knew a person which she said I did. They did a spell for abundance. They just wanted abundance. Well, they got abundance of everything, they had some incredible good fortune, in, in moving their name forward and putting themselves out there in the work they want to do. They also lost their home. So they had an abundance of joy and opportunity and also an abundance of sorrow. So what I would have said to this, which is why we know what an abundance of what is it? Is it you know, do you want joy? Do you want love, you want money or success and just ask for those things don't just say abundance, right. And so that's really careful to be very clear and strategic when you're doing your magic on this blue moon. So if you've not yet developed a working practice with your ancestors, and you want to do practice with your ancestors, this is a good time to do it. So the creation of an ancestor altar or a shrine or cleaning up and improving the one you have is is likely to help strengthen that relationship with them in an even more powerful way than other years at this time of year. But be very mindful about what promises you make to them, especially this year. So if you like say to your ancestors, I really need help with getting a new job and I'm going to make you dinner every Sunday night for the next 52 weeks. Make sure you have the time space and resources to actually make that dinner, you might want to think about keeping it simple. Maybe it's coffee or tea on Sunday mornings instead of a full dinner for them every Sunday, because life happens you don't know where you'll be six months from now or what kind of responsibilities you'll have. So if you are making promises this year, just make sure that you are very, again, very clear about them and also that it's something you can strategically do. So Halloween is typically a very busy time of year even if we're all staying home, but especially if you have children. So if you're planning to do a dumb supper, which is when preparing a meal and eating in silence, leaving a plate for the ancestors, you can do it on the 31st that's great, but to be honest, you can do it up to a week after the actual Halloween itself. I mean many of the astrological Samhain is several days after Halloween so you're not missing the boat. My husband and I typically do our our dump supper a few days after actually Halloween whatever is is more is easier for our schedule so we can be clear headed and clear minded to do it in an effective way. Other things you can do that will help strengthen relationships with your ancestors. If you live close to where your ancestors are buried, this is a good time or day to visit their graves tend to them clean them up. If you do not live close to your ancestors, but you would like to do this kind of work. Visiting a neglected grave is a great way to honor the dead as well as build up potential bonds with spirit helpers. Again, the dead are just like people some are going to be a lot of people are really good and mean well, not everybody does. And so you just want Be careful who you work with and be don't start inviting spirits home that you don't know very well and making agreements with spirits you don't know very well given a few times and And really trust your instincts on this on this sort of thing. And, and if you do visit a cemetery, make sure that you make three stops on your way home suggestions like as you're leaving stop by the gas station, the grocery store and the post office, or you can cross a body of water like a river or Creek, I tend to do both just to be on the safe side to ensure that the spirits do not follow you home. And the thing you can do is when you leave a cemetery is turn in a circle backwards to your left three times and then stomp your left foot, that is approach to our practices that keep the spirits from actually following you home into your house or attaching to you. So that's what I've got, I hope that is helpful to everybody.Hilary 25:42First of all, I love hearing about I love it when you talk about the moons that are coming up, whether it be a full moon or a new moon. But this one I was particularly interested in because I haven't done work magic work on a blue moon before. So thanks for, for adding that all in there. That's super exciting. And I'm excited to utilize it for my own practice.Courtney 26:01I'm stoked,Kanani 26:02I think the the suggestions on also on kind of behaviors, once you've left a cemetery were helpful. I think that's something that, you know, not everybody really thinks about when you go into the cemetery that you kind of need to be mindful about what you might bring home. So I think those are some really good suggestions as well as as to ways to kind of protect yourself from you know, any, any spirits or whatnot that are kind of looking for someone to, to kind of follow around.Courtney 26:30Yeah, and I just want to, you know, raise up so much of the work that I've learned with ancestors and this kind of work all comes from my teachers in the hoodoo tradition. So I just want to raise and elevate them and say thank you, for you know, for sharing this knowledge with me and that I hope it's helpful to others as well.Kanani 26:46So Hilary also had some amazing suggestions as to uses for ginger, which I think sounded really cool.Hilary 26:52Yes, it's true. Ginger is one of my favorite plants to work with. Well root, it's it's a plant and a root. So you can use multiple parts of the plant, I usually use the root. It's also easy to find in a grocery store, whether it be in like ground ginger or fresh roots. So ginger is really good for working in a couple of different areas. First of all, so it is actually as as many warming things are it is a it is an aphrodisiac. So it's good in love spells or in sex magic. It is also known for being really good with money, success and confidence and prosperity. So if you're working on if you're doing work around money or trying to bring in success, or if you're trying to kick that career up to the next level, it can be a really good plant to use for that. Another interesting thing about ginger is it it will, as you know ginger is very, very strong to the taste. So what it also does magically is it kicks any spell you want, or any spell you're doing up to like the next level, so it kicks it into a higher gear. I say this because it can be incredibly powerful to use in that sense, but also be really wary of using it or using too much of it if you put a shit ton of ginger in a spell jar, or you're doing a spell in which you're using a ton of ginger, just be careful because you might be asking for something and then you might get like an intense version of what you've asked for because ginger really packs a strong punch both in its taste and then it's magical use Courtney 28:32I remember a Jake Richard said that when we when he was on the show, and somebody that somebody put some ginger in a spell and was like this worked way better than I intended it to and I don't know what to do with the results. And he was like with the ginger a little goes a long way. Hilary 28:49Exactly, it really does he's so spot on. I mean, I've used ginger, I don't use it that often. But when I have used it, it's usually reserved for times when I need a boost. I don't use it willy nilly. Because again, you know, so for instance, if you're using it in a Love Spell, or if you're using it in sex magic, you want to make sure that you're using the right proportion, because again, while it might be really good for those things, it also packs that punch. So just use your intuition don't be willy nilly about how much you're using. And, you know, know that it can really enhance what you're doing in a positive way but also can enhance it in an overwhelming way. Another thing that you can do is you can eat ginger before working magic it is supposed to increase increase your own inner magic and energy, again, be really cautious. You don't want to like come at something that you need to be subtle on and come at it with like a flame thrower, right? You got to you've got to be careful. But it is really really powerful. I mean again, you look at you look at ginger, and it's you know, it's known as an aphrodisiac it's known for its warming properties. It's another it's also it's taste is really, really strong. So when we're looking at plant usage, that's something to pay attention to here is a great example of that. When you taste ginger, it's like, WOW, it's hot, it's like really hot on your mouth. So you can imagine that it would be good for love because things that are warm, plants that have warming properties, or spices, or herbs that have warming properties, often are good in love and sex magic. And, and but also, but also can be very strong in in the type of magic. So I really I love using ginger. Like I said, I don't use it super frequently, because I often find it you know, packs such a big punch. And so I use it when I need to kick something up to the next gear, or if I'm trying to bring in, especially when I'm working on self love, it's I have found it's been really helpful in self love, but in small quantities. So use wisely. But it is a really, really powerful plant. And I really like using it in spell jars specifically. But I also I also love eating it. So I think if you're doing a ritual and you want to enhance your own energy, eating it ahead of time is a great way to do it. I know for some people I know some people really hate the flavor of ginger, but I love it, I could eat it all dayKanani 31:16It's it's definitely one of those I think, I think it falls in the love or hate it category as far as eating ginger, because it is kind of such a dynamic and powerful taste. You either really like it or you are not a fan.Hilary 31:30I also imagine like if you wanted to so like the root of ginger. And I'm just like, this is on in a theoretical sense, but the root of ginger packs the most strength. So I wonder if using a leaf on the plants or using a different part of the plant would make a difference. Although unless you're growing it, you probably won't find that. So probably what most people are going to find is is either the root in its root form at a, you know, in a supermarket or in in a grounded form on the spice aisle.Kanani 32:05Definitely. And Courtney, you had a couple of shout outs for us.Courtney 32:08Yes, there are a couple of events we want to make sure that everybody is aware of. So I am teaching a class called the dangerous goddess. I taught it a couple of weeks ago saw some of our listeners there and that was really exciting. And I'm teaching it again through pathways books in St. Louis, Missouri. But it is all virtual. And I'm teaching it at 7pm Central Time on November the 10th. Tickets are now available. And we'll be talking about three different goddesses Bridgid, the Morrigan and Hekate. And the both the some of the more comfortable aspects of them as well as the uncomfortable aspects of them and really just how these goddesses are truly very powerful and extraordinary beings. And so there will be a link to that in our show notes page. And also just wanted to lift up a class that's coming out through the Irish pagan school. It is a live online class on how to celebrate the Samhain fire festival in Irish paganism and is led by Laura O'Brien who was with us a couple of weeks ago. It is going to be live online on Sunday, October 25, but will be recorded and so you can pick it up anytime. They're covering the the name, the meanings and pronunciations, Irish history and traditions of the festival got Irish gods and goddesses associated with Samhain shared native experiences and opinions, exercises, prompts and a q&a session during the actual live online class. Laura is a wonderful teacher and her classes are extremely scholarly, but also deeply spiritual. And so if you are interested in learning more about the origins of Samhain and how we can practice it anywhere around the world, and go to the hats, backslash p backslash sawin. Again, the link will also be available in our show notes.Kanani 33:58Also a reminder for everybody that we have our new ancestor/Samhain witch spell kits on our Etsy site. And please feel free to check those out. We've already mailed out quite a few we've already gotten a amazing review, which I really appreciate. I think people will really enjoy the spell kits because it's got everything you need inside the kits. And also a big thank you to everyone on our Patreon we want to thank you to our supporters. This week we released a new moonspell for clarity and focus. And for our squad level at $5 a month or above, we had our first quarterly witchtacular event which was our live viewing of Hocus Pocus earlier was so much fun at that level and also gives you access to our private facebook page where you can connect with us and with other Patreon witches supporting us. Other ways you can support the show if you can't do a monthly donation you can buy us a Ko-fi or buy that witch life merchandise on Etsy. You can also consider becoming an episode sponsor. It's a great way to promote your business to thousands of witches. You can also purchase a shout out to let people know about the incredible event you're hosting or wish your coven a happy Samhain since you all can meet together in person this year. You can find out more on our website at that witch . And I think we're ready for a word from our sponsor.Courtney 35:22Yeah! Hilary 35:23 We are all stuck inside, bored, trying to find things to do. There is pretty much no better time to focus on your witchcraft studies and increase your magickal skills. That’s why we are thrilled to have Sacred Mists Academy of Magickal Arts and Sciences as an episode sponsor! Since 2002, Sacred Mists Academy has offered comprehensive online Magickal training programs with working witches around the world including First through Third Degree Wicca training, with an Elder program available for initiates of the Sacred Mists tradition. Other programs include Historical Paganism, Herbalist Certifications, Spell Crafting Classes, Tarot Courses, Reiki Training, and More! There are lots of enriching classes to choose from. Plus, if you just aren’t getting enough of your That Witch Life hosts, our very own Courtney offers a Spellcrafting and Spell Casting certification through Sacred Mists. I’ve attended more than one of her classes over there years and, shhhhh don’t tell her, but they’re always pretty great. So get signed up and level up your spell-casting skills! All courses have their own private groups where students can gather and connect with other students. Students also have access to the Sacred Mists Circle, a completely private, student-only social media platform (NOT facebook!) with profile pages, discussion boards, groups, blogs, a searchable Book of Shadows, videos, music, and more! Other Sacred Mists Academy social groups include witch crafting: if you’re interested in creating your own tools, a divination group to discuss decks and share readings, empath groups to explore this gift and learn about shielding, healing, kitchen witchcraft, and more! Join the Sacred Mists live chats for rituals (sabbats, esbats, healing), live divination readings, study halls, and social gatherings for and by students. To enroll, go to sacred mists academy dot com and enter WITCHLIFE during registration to receive FREE ENROLLMENT, a savings of $30. Monthly tuition then depends on which course or courses you take. Limit one per student, available until December Thirty First, 2020. Manifest The Change You Want To See In Yourself And The World Around You through Sacred Mists Academy. Thank you to Sacred Mists for being an episode sponsor! Kanani 37:25The Sacred Mists Academy is a tremendous learning resource, But guess what? Sacred Mists also has a shoppe, offering over a thousand witchcraft tools, supplies and gifts including crystals and gemstones, incense and candles, including hand-rolled beeswax spell candles, and other spell supplies. This is literally a one-stop shop for Witchcraft supplies,. Sacred Mists Shoppe also offers over 75 plant seeds specifically curated for the Witch’s garden including healing and magickal herbs, flowers, and plant seeds, just a few of which include belladonna, mandrake, sweetgrass, moonflower, patchouli, elderberry and mugwort, and many more! Their divination tools include Tarot and oracle decks, and a gorgeous natural polished black obsidian scrying mirror with ornate antiqued brass stand available in two sizes. Sacred Mists Shoppe offers everything you need to set up your Magickal space including wands, athames, hand-carved gemstone runes and wooden rune sets, God and Goddess statuary and more! They have everything a new witch could want and a bunch of other fun and amazing things you didn’t even know you needed until you shopped there The goddess statues are amazing and add so much energy to any altar. I loved the bonai wishing trees and had to have them. They are beautiful and are a reminder of the energy I want around me.. Plus, Sacred Mists Shoppe offers a wide variety of jewelry and books. Purchases at Sacred Mists Shoppe help support the education and training programs offered at Sacred Mists Academy. To get 10% off your purchase of $35 or more, go to sacred mists dot come and use code WITCHLIFE at check-out. Offer available until December 31, 2020. Sacred Mists Shoppe: Offering unique and handcraft Witchcraft and Wicca supplies to the Pagan community since 2002. Thank you to Sacred Mists Shoppe AND Sacred Mists Academy for being an episode sponsor! I love supporting small farms and herbalists. Fox and Elder is a small farm just north of Nashville, Tennessee run by Sara Schuster, who is an herbalist, herb farmer and plant witch. Their work not only offers a variety of herb-based products, but also offers education on homesteading and herb cultivation. Fox and Elder’s products include teas and tinctures, including a line of Tarot teas based on the Major Arcana. I am a huge fan of elderberry syrup and loved seeing that in their shop, as well as the calming flower bath. Fox and Elder also offers a monthly zine called Full Moon Fill-up that offers tarot spreads, herbal profiles, and recipes. The Samhain issue will have a focus on ancestral work, a Tarot spread for the Full moon in Taurus, and an herbal profile on skullcap. Fox and Elder also offers a podcast called ‘Tending Seeds,’ which covers a variety of homesteading and herbalism topics, available on all major platforms or directly on their website, so be sure to subscribe and add ‘Tending Seeds’ to your listening rotation. Their podcast episodes follow the seasons and do deep-dives into gardening and how to find powerful Magick and healing in different herbs you can find in your yard or just along the road. As a Witch who is learning more about having a witches garden there is a ton of valuable information given in each episode. . To receive 15% off your first purchase of teas, tinctures, or a Full Moon Zine subscription, go to and enter code “thatwitchlife” at check-out. Fox and Elder: meeting you where you are, offering a variety of ways to step onto the plant path. Thank you to Fox and Elder for being an episode sponsor! We are back everyone. And I just wanted to introduce our guest. Our guest today is Monica Divane, a Queer Indigenous Latinx Bruja and a homeschooling mom of 2. Her Mayan & Taino roots play a big part in her craft. She has been married for 16 years and is currently living in Central Florida. She’s a Mer Witch & a Hearth Witch- her home is her sacred space, and she loves to bake vegan food for her friends and family. You will usually find her crafting something new, raising monarchs, gardening, reading, dancing, hiking, hanging out in the beach or springs, and at Disney. Monica works for Veggie Mijas which is a WOC/NBPOC Collective that focuses on veganism, decolonization, and environmental justice and also as an Auror & part of the Cheer Squad in Potterhead Running Club. She’s a geek and an activist and is teaching her boys to do so much good in this world. Welcome, Monica.Monica Divane 42:37Thank you. Thank you for having me.Kanani 42:39Can I just say that I am so jealous that you live near Disney World. Can I just like to let that out into the world? I am I am an absolute. I'm a fellow Disney head and that I actually have never been to Disney World. I've been to Disneyland I have yet to go to Disney World. So I am so jealous right now I'm losing my mind.Monica Divane 43:03I've never been to Disneyland. My you know, goal one day is to do all of them. But I think Disney World is probably the best because it's the largest. It has, you know, technically six themeparks. But there's just so much to immerse yourself with. So I love it.Kanani 43:22I actually I have some friends who go every year. Because apparently when they were interning they interned at Disney World. And so they just have a love... they once people kind of get involved they just have a love it and become obsessed. And so every year they've gone back, and we were hanging out with them last spring and yeah, it was actually the first time I learned that you can't walk Disney World. It's not like Disneyland where you can walk from where Disney World actually has like, like small trains and buses. And ...Monica Divane 44:00It has freeways and everything. It's its own little hub. Kanani 44:04That's so crazy. Anyway, anyways, I just I had to tell you, I'm so jealous of that. I think that's friggin awesome.Courtney 44:11I knew you two were basically long lost sister is when I said Kanani, we're gonna interview Monica and Monica is a mom and a witch and she loves the beach and she's obsessed with Disney. And Kanani was like, so she's me. Kanani 44:23Yeah.Monica Divane 44:25Twin soulsKanani 44:28Absolutely. So, um, one of the things we usually start out with our guests as we usually start out by asking, how did you know you were a witch or a magical person?Monica Divane 44:38Um, it is instinctive. Um, it's hard to put my finger on a point where I'm like, Yes, I'm a witch, because it's just something that has been a part of me. It's, it's a cultural thing as well. I'm learning things here and there. Mostly. A lot of healing things and protective rituals that are passed down through generation to generation. So I think when I really dove into my craft, it was when I was in college in New York City. So I want to say it's about like, 2004 2005, where I really threw myself into learning, not just my cultural practices, but learning all different types of witchcraft and the history of other witchcraft, and really getting more into magic and setting that.Kanani 45:39So one of the things that as you mentioned, you were really lucky, because you kind of were brought up into this as part of your culture. Um, what is something that you remember? Kind of as far as, as a child? What were some of the Dia de los Muertos practices that you kind of remember that maybe you've kept going forward with your own children?Monica Divane 46:03Well, actually, um, my, my childhood is complicated, to put it very, very kindly. Because my mother was like a fundamentalist Christian. Kanani 46:15Oh, Monica Divane 46:16yes, yes. So and, you know, in a lot of Hispanic households, you're gonna find that some people cling to Catholicism and Christianity. And then there's other members who say they cling to Christianity, and do something entirely different. So it's really, as I said, like, it's me growing up seeing these things within our culture within because I grew up actually in Hialeah. So I grew up around a very big Hispanic community. And so it's things that I noticed and picked up and I didn't really put two and two together until I was older, and I was like, Oh, my gosh, they were doing a fertility spell with that egg. You know, um, so in my specific household, my mother was very strict about what I was exposed to. But at the same time, my father was from Honduras, that is Mayan side, and my older siblings are Honduran as well. And so I was raised the Honduran way that you know, and so I was really tapped into more of that aspect of my culture. Um, it was, like I said, it was something that wasn't really talked about openly, it was just something that was done. It's like, you don't even say yeah, this person is a bruja, you just say go to this person, and they can help you out.Kanani 47:42Right? Yeah, they it's, it's practicing the magic without referring to it as magic or acknowledging that it's magical. So what what is something that that you do now that you've kind of become more aware of the cultural elements and whatnot of Dia de los Muertos, what is something that you do now with your family?Monica Divane 48:01Um, well, we have a central altar and our home. And so anyone who comes in is going to see it, and especially like, it's in the middle of our home, and our kids see it all the time. So we change it according to seasons and things like that. And they see, like, I have Ixchel on the altar, I have Yemaya on there. So they see like our main deities as it changes with seasons, they get to help sometimes decorate, and they have their own little altars as well. But for the main altar, like when it comes to Dia de los Muertos, we, you know, bring out like I have monarchs all over the reeth this year because I raised monarchs so for me, that's just something super special. And we have we're more colorful in our decoration than opposed to like withes you do Samhain, it's mostly black, which is awesome. Like, I love black and purple, and those are my favorite colors. But for us, it's really a celebration of the people who have you know, passed away but they're still very much kept alive within us and within our memories and with what we do so the way I teach my boys is that you know, we come to the altar when we have like our skulls I just actually acquired at obsidian skull so I'm over the moon about that one. Um, and we have like little pumpkins, we have corn. When it comes close to the time to decorate we'll have like chocolate and things like that because chocolate is a food of the gods. So chocolate is pretty big for us. But they they can see, since the altar is in the middle of our home, they can see what we are practicing and it's an everyday part of their life.Kanani 49:43That's awesome.Courtney 49:44I feel like a way a lot of modern people who may not be as familiar with Dia de los Muertos and its history. I feel like a lot of people got educated through the movie Coco and I felt like that was a lot of the ways that they described it were just so very clear about like the petals of the flower as the pathway and if you don't have the picture on the altar of, if you're not on an altar you can't cross through. And that what the like leaving out the offerings for the food and it's like oh, these are really good and how there's they're seeing the babies and things. What did you think of Coco is there... Did you feel like that was accurate to the practices in general Dia de los Muertos, or applicable to what you and your family do?Monica Divane 50:26Coco is a really beautiful movie. I absolutely love it. And it's a really good way to introduce people to what the holiday is about. I will say that they focus more on the way it's celebrated in Mexico because Dia de los Muertos is not just a Mexican holiday, which is what most people think. It is an indigenous holiday. And there were natives all over Central America. For the Maya we went as far as into Nicaragua, I'm not fully dominating Nicarogua, and everything but El Salvador, Honduras, especially in Guatemala, so it's a really big Central American holiday. And every, I want to see every region has I guess, like, it looks almost the same everywhere. But it's celebrated just a tiny bit differently. So there's variations of different things. So for example, in Mexico, they have more than monarch celebration, because of the huge migration pattern of the monarch, they come to a specific point in Mexico and that for them is the returning of the souls, but you're not going to find that same celebration in Honduras, where the Maya people are right now, that's not part of their celebration. I mean, it's not something that's exclusive, and everything, but um, but you're going to find variations. So for me, Coco is a really good introduction to what the holiday is about in terms of, like, the rituals of, you know, having an ofrenda, having the pictures up of your loved ones. Definitely baking things and putting it on the altar and having it for your loved ones to come in and munch on their offerings. Having lots of flowers, they have mostly marigolds, and I love marigolds, but just flowers all around, because you're celebrating life. So yeah, Coco, for me, is a really good representation.Kanani 52:30I feel like it was, it was really exciting for me when that movie came out, because it's, you know, Dia de los Muertos is also very similar to Samhain and it was like, incredible for me, what someone who's always, you know, put out food, you know, for Samhain and for the ancestors and who's always, you know, had an altar and things like that, to see other people, you know, talking about doing those same things? Yeah. You know, a year before they would have been like you do What?... you know. All of a sudden they were like OH we should do that. Let's put out a picture of Grandma, let's do this. It was so cool. To me, when, when these little kind of pop culture mode moments or, you know, society moments, kind of open this window and make something that's so beautiful, not scary.Monica Divane 53:24And it was they did it beautifully. I have to admit, I mean, they took the time to make it culturally, like correct. And even like, the story that they that they did in Coco about, you know, like, Miguel and everything, like it was just really, really well done. Um, I also like the fact that people now understand a little bit more about what we do. Like you said, like, a year ago, people would be like, wait, what? You know, like, they would give us some very, very weird looks now it's like, oh my gosh, yes, of course. Like I understand what you're celebrating. So it's pretty nice.Kanani 54:03But so what is so what is something that you and your family, like what would you, what are your plans for Dia de los Muertos?Monica Divane 54:11Well, we I want to say two days before is when we probably get the ultra dress like right now it's pretty dressed up but without things that are perishable. Also, because I live in Florida and there's ants. So um, I have like the basic decorations that are perishable. Two days before I will cut marigolds. I grow some here. And depending on how much I have here, I might have to go out and get more but I will cut them in like put them over the altar and have the kids help arrange them and everything. We will take out our pictures and of course I'll make sure that whoever new has passed away that we want to honor we print up their pictures and start getting together the food that we're going to have on there. Like I said I usually put chocolate because chocolate is a food of the gods. So it really is, in most of our rituals. Courtney 55:05Is it ever!!!!Monica Divane 55:08I actually just told my kids the story of like, the Mayan story of how chocolate came to our people, and like, the gods are jealous, because one of the gods gave it to us. And it was a really fun story. So now they understand.Courtney 55:23Will you tell it to us too?Hilary 55:24Yeah, I was gonna say that, will you tell us that? Will you let us know what that is?Monica Divane 55:28COURTNEY HERE Okay, so it's a very, I guess, quick format. Um, one of the gods was in love with the Maya people. And he always would give us different treats. And he wanted to give us cacao, which is, you know, the cacao tree. But other guys were like, no, this is our food, this is sacred, you cannot give it to them, no matter how much you love them, no matter what they do for us. And he was just kind of like, on the sly, like, well, they won't know if I just slip them a pod kind of thing. And so he taught them how to grow it, how to roast the beans, how to make the chocolate. And then another god found out and was like, absolutely pissed off and told everyone else. But um, it's, it's pretty, like if I have a book and it's upstairs, but it's a really, really awesome tale about how it was the food of the gods, and, you know, them giving that to us was super sacred. I say one guy was Kukulkán, gone, he he gave it to us, and it was super sacred. And from there, we use it to honor them. So when we eat it, we are taking that offering and like into ourselves, and we are honoring them. And so for us, like, I love chocolate, but I don't eat it all the time. I'm very mindful of how I eat my chocolate. Or if I get it from somewhere, I bless my chocolate. Or I say, you know, so I'm grateful for this gift. And then we eat it. So now the kids know, like, the story, like the history of our people for when it comes to chocolate and why... why we have in our rituals. That's so cool. Thank you for sharing that. That's amazing. Courtney 57:14Yeah, I never heard that story before. And that's thatHilary 57:17I wasn't familiar with that, either. So thank you so much for sharing that.Kanani 57:20You're welcome. Another thing that people would find, I think familiar, I think most witches probably love them are the sugar skulls that people decorate and whatnot and often put on the a friend is that something that you guys usually do or?Monica Divane 57:39Well nowadays is sugar skulls actually have an egg. And so we are actually vegan, um, and my son actually has an egg allergy, and I'm intolerant so we just completely avoid it. But we I'm old school, they wouldn't use the same ingredients. In my bio I spoke about decolonizing Well, we try to stick to foods that our ancestors ate, so they didn't have certain foods like the way they did now. So nowadays, the the sugar skulls are made with like icing that has like milk and egg and things like that. So they would use other ingredients, like I believe the recipe that we're using this year is made with quinoa. Um, and so we have like the mold and we're gonna basically have a... oh wait was it quinoa or was it quinoa or something else that we have to like pop, and kind of almost like a popping corn, and we're gonna like form it into the skull. And it's going to have a little bit of chocolate in it, of course. And we're gonna make sure it hardens and then we'll put it like the day of outside onto the altar. But it's the first time that the kids are gonna be creating that so I'm pretty excited about that.Kanani 58:56When I was younger and I didn't have kids to take trick or treating, I would put out Chinese food was my was my Samhain dinner of choice. And then I had kids and so I had to eat something quickly. And so now it's pizza, so they get pizza and wine. And I just it's the cultural heritage and the offerings and the the foods and everything is just so I don't know it's to me, I think the altar the ofrendas and the altars and things like that are so special, the people who celebrate Dia de los Muertos, Samhain, Day of the Dead, that I think it's kind of funny that food also seems to play such a significant part of it. Monica Divane 59:43Oh, food always plays a significant part of it. And any Hispanic, like region, you're always gonna find like food is the majority of celebration.Kanani 59:54Are there certain foods that kind of are the ones that you like to leave out? Or that you kind of feel like these are the real goodies I know you mentioned Chocolate.Monica Divane 1:00:02Chocolate is yes, chocolate always, um, I always like to leave out corn actually. And that's more of a cultural thing because the Maya are made from corn. And there's a whole nother tale involving that. But um, so I try to leave just a small offering of corn even like when we do all of our harvest festivals, we always partake in something that is made of corn. So I try to make sure that I put that on the altar in one format or another whether it's like corn meal, or just like if I have fresh corn on the cob, I won't cook it, I'll just like leave it out. Because that for us that's very symbolic of like, what we're made of, and that we go back into the earth. Let's see what else I do. I know I like to make like, kind of like sweeter things. Because you want to like appease the spirits, I leave out sweeter little treats, kind of like, you know, maybe the bread or even cupcakes and we'd like to leave out shots of liquor.Kanani 1:01:03NiceMonica Divane 1:01:04Yes, you cannot have an ofrenda without some liquor on there. So like every country has like their own preference, you know, whether it's tequilla or rum. Either way, like, you give it out there you let the spirits have it and you let them bless it. And then you can also like take shots from that too.Kanani 1:01:28I think that's so fun. Yeah, I I kind of, I think I've told this story before we're one of my favorite Samhain memories was once when I woke up in the middle of the night, and there was literally a party in my house. And I can hear people laughing and drinking and glasses clinking and you know, and like not like the fun laughing like, like, like almost like there's a frat party in my house like the obnoxious uproarious laughing and hysterical. And you can tell people are just like three sheets. And, um, that was one of my favorite memories. It's only it only ever happened that one year where I had something that powerful, or I literally had to say, I'm so glad you guys are having fun and enjoying the food and the drinks, but I really have to work tomorrow. Please let me go back to sleep. And then like shhhhh shhhhh she has to work. Sorry." And I just remember I literally laughed myself to sleep. I was just like, I can't believe that has happened. It was just so it was so funny. But you know, to me, I like kind of how you said, you know, there has to be booze. You know?1:02:37There has to be as an offering .. yeah.Kanani 1:02:41It's a a fun time. You know, this is? Courtney 1:02:45my husband swears that his ancestors as well as mine need fried chicken, which I'm like, Wow, what a coincidence. That is also your favorite meal. Hilary 1:02:55You're like, That's funny. Courtney 1:02:56That's funny. And he's like, I'm like your ancestors are Polish Italian, but they're craving Southern foods. He's like, yeah, they really liked it last year. I'm like, did they? It had nothing to do with tha you also liked it. He's like, "not at all Honey."Hilary 1:03:13Yeah, I find like, for me, when I put out food for Samhain, I tend to do one of two things. Either I gravitate towards a food or liquor or a or a beverage that is kind of linked towards my ancestral heritage, or I make something specifically for an ancestor that I want to call in. So like, if it's someone that I really want, I might make something separate for them as well. Like, Oh, I know that my mom loved this one thing. So I'm going to incorporate that into the meal. I think that makes sense. I think I've often wondered why for the, I mean, I'm talking a decade it was Chinese food, and I've always kind of like I've thought back later to why why was it that and I thought about it and it was honestly it was because when you're younger, like Chinese foods actually expensive. And so it was for me, it was like it was something special. Like it's not something I can afford that often. And so for me it was like this, you know, it was exciting to me to to kind of get that more expensive meal and then share it and and put that out there. And so for me it was kind of like that was why it kind of had that significance for me was because you know, that's not something I could just order whenever I wanted. That was something that was more expensive and, and it was a special thing. And so that was always really fun for me. And now I have children so I'm not allowed to have special things. Now it's all about practical. Here's your pizza and wineMonica Divane 1:04:52I love that more practical. I have to say that definitely my rituals have become a lot more practical. I still leave, like, when you do offerings, you still leave, like, as much of a top notch offering as you can. But I mean, it's like rituals are way more messy with kids, but in a way that's good. Like you evolve as a person with your magic when you involve your kids in it.Kanani 1:05:19Absolutely. Is there a certain way that you ....what was there a story that went along with kind of how you explained Dia de los Muertos to your children?Monica Divane 1:05:29I mean, well, they've seen like, they've seen Coco they've seen book of life. So we have a few books that will touch on the subject of the holiday. It's just really about exposure. It's this is all that they've known, this is what they've been raised in. And so they kind of think everyone celebrates like this. And I'm like, well, no, not everyone, you know, not everyone's a witch. Kanani 1:05:55And, and it's funny, too, because like you said, it's just kind of all they know. Monica Divane 1:05:59Yeah. Kanani 1:06:00And it was funny for me, because I've, I've always put out food. And I don't think necessarily, depending on when I would do it, the kids always knew, right, every year that I would put out food because it was always it was oftentimes the day is so crazy, would oftentimes be something I would do after I tuck them in after trick or treating. And so so they usually wake up and like see see it the next morning, but they didn't necessarily see me like put out all the food and do all my stuff. And so, um, it was it was amazing for me when we watched the movie Coco for the first time, when my daughter looked at me and she goes, Is that why you put food out? And I was like, we never had like the convo really, she just knew it was something we did. But then she's literally watching an entire movie explaining why this is why we do what we do. And it was just amazing to me to watch all those light bulbs just kind of come on.Monica Divane 1:06:54Yeah, I think like it's for us. It's more like, like, it's part of their everyday life. And then like, we always talk about it. And it's kind of like, like, we have our circle time because we homeschool. And part of our circle time is like pagan studies. So like, if it's fall equinox, and we're talking about fall, we're talking about gratefulness and service to our community. So as we go along the year, you know, they're like learning, like a little bit more every year kind of thing. And, yeah, we use a lot of books and movies whenever we can. Because, you know, my kids are super visual like that. And that's how they absorb information. So yeah, that's just, it's just constant exposure. Like AT one point, they're just like, What do you mean, like other people don't do this. Kanani 1:07:46Right? Well, it's just funny. Like, for example, I took them to a grotto in Portland A few years ago, where they have lights and huge Nativity inquires, and it's just beautifully done with lights and it's just stunning. And I decided I've never seen that. And I've lived here, you know, most of my life. Let's go see these beautiful lights. And we went and it was just fun. And the kids had a great time and we come up on this huge nativity scene. And as soon as we walk up, my daughter goes, "What is this?" and this old woman just her head almost snapped. She turned around so fast and just gave me the eagle eye. And the first time I thought about it, I'm like, why would she know, you what I mean? Like it had never occurred to me. But she has no idea what this is or what relevance this has in this setting. And it occurred to me like how would she know like this this is not anything she's been exposed to Monica Divane 1:08:41Oh my gosh my kids are the same way am I think it was last year. Like the we'd always do holidays around the world and I tried to give him a little bit of you know, different celebrations. But there was once a one of the planes in the sky that like right with the smoke and they put down like Jesus loves you and they're like, "Who's Jesus?" and I live in the south so everyone looked at usHilary 1:09:12they're like, "What is wrong you!!!" You're like OK look, not everyone believes in Jesus, ok?Kanani 1:09:18My daughter once in a crowded room once said, What's church? And the look, was just..... And even it's funny because even at my first question is like, what do you mean what is true? And then I was like, why would you know what? Like? Why would you know what that is? Like?Courtney 1:09:38I was just, I was just so proud of both of you Canady. And that moment when you're like my daughter doesn't know what church is I'm like oh, you make her proud. Not there's anything wrong with church we have a lot of witches are churchgoers, but it's also really hilarious. And there's some whichlets out there that don't know who Jesus or the church isHilary 1:09:57The more I mean, the more exposure we get. Other practices, you know, like you said, in these in these in films that are that are mainstream or in places that are mainstream, it's so nice because we get to see that window into another practice because I think people are afraid to ask, you know, I think they're afraid to ask because they, sometimes it's because they don't know how to phrase it sometimes. I mean, sometimes it's because they don't want to be disrespectful, you know. And so I love I love that I, I was a super fortunate to I was down I actually got to, to see and, and, and observe some of the Dia de los Muertos practices. I was down performing a number of years ago in Oaxaca City. And it was right around that time period. And I had a performance a few days earlier, totally, obviously, unrelated to the festivities that were happening. But it was amazing to be able to witness and watch the practices, and I was so moved by how beautiful they were both in and just really truly how beautiful they were in honoring the people that have passed. And I know that we are seeing more and more images within our popular culture, and my question, I guess was, you know, when people see these things, and and they get to appreciate them and, you know, integrate them in, perhaps to some of their practices, what's a good way to do that in a respectful way? For the culture, you know, we obviously want to be respectful for the culture, the indigenous cultures and other cultural practices. But do you have suggestions for people that are witnessing or wanting to, you know, that are inspired by some of those practices to approach that in a culturally sensitive way?Monica Divane 1:11:45Oh, yeah, absolutely. Because we get asked a lot about what we do on Halloween. And now, more recently, they're like, Oh, do you celebrate Dia de los Muertos? What do you do on deals with those. So I always say that we celebrate Halloween on the 31st, which, like my kids, and I go trick or treating, and then on the first and second, you know, like, that's when we have our, you know, Dia de los Muertos celebration. What we do is tied to our culture. But if you're not within the culture, then there is still a way for you to honor your ancestors. Taking in certain elements like putting out pictures, it's, it's very similar to Samhain in that in that aspect, where you're honoring your ancestors, or you're honoring people that you admire that have passed away. So for example, two people that we're adding to our altar this year, that is not our family, but we know that we want to honor them, because they have a deep meaning for us is Chadwick and RBG. So we're adding them to the altar. And we'll be making sure that we put, you know, extra flowers out around them, because they just, you know, were they just passed away this year. So, my advice for people who want to start incorporating, but they're not exactly part of the culture is maybe look into your culture to see if there are certain things to do to honor people who have passed away, I'm definitely leaving out photos and eating a meal that you think that your ancestor loved... incorporating that interior dinner, or leaving something out, you know, if you're able to, um, having something every year, that you can create a small ritual of your own. So for us, it's, we do it every year, it's a reminder of us of you know, that our loved ones are still there, so long as we keep them alive. So that is not necessarily something that is only for our culture, it is in almost every native culture, they find a way to honor their ancestors in one way or another, whether it's planting a tree, you know, whether it is doing a certain service in that person's honor. So you can incorporate a lot of different things and make your own kind of ritual to do around this time of the year, every year.Hilary 1:14:06I love that. Yeah, definitely the the honoring of ancestors, you see across many different cultures. And I think that's a great way to say it, because, you know, I think it's important to be aware, obviously, that you're not taking very, very, very culturally specific rituals, like, you know, there's and to respect that, because I know that there's a lot of that, that happens within, you know, magical communities. And so thank you for saying that. It's really helpful, I think, for all of us to be able to discuss that. And I love those suggestions and ideas. I think, I always try and dig into, you know, how to integrate that from a cultural perspective from my own ancestors, and also for people and I and I know we've said this before. For people that don't, perhaps know their ancestry, you can always connect with land spirits specific to the land that you're on. Or nature spirits? If If or and again, it doesn't even have to ancestors don't have to be people that your blood related to they can be people that have inspired you that that are your that are your chosen family or like Ruth Bader Ginsburg Yeah, 100%. Like, she'll definitely be honored that my Samhain table for everything she's done for, for us to make it a safer, more inclusive space in our country. SoKanani 1:15:27I also like that you kind of said, you know, it doesn't just have to be food or items, you can also honor them in service. Monica Divane 1:15:34Yes, absolutely. Kanani 1:15:36And I think that the beautiful thing to remind people as well,Courtney 1:15:39I have a very practical question that a lot of people ask me, and I honestly don't always know what to say. And that's what to do with the food offerings when they're done. I know some people take them to parks, which can be good, it can also be challenging for wildlife. There's people that some people will talk about that throwing it away, it can be very disrespectful. And then there's different traditions about whether you consume the food yourself, that is left for your ancestors. So I'd love to hear Monica from you. What do you all do with the food offerings after the rituals done?Monica Divane 1:16:13Yes, that is a very, very important question. Um, you need to know a little bit about your area where you live. If you.... see before I would live in New York City, so I had a small place where I can leave out food that wasn't harmful to animals in the area. And it would be okay. Would I necessarily do that here in Central Florida, where I'm surrounded by a lot more animals, um, no. And I would never leave chocolate out at all, because I know that it can harm a lot of animals. So what we do is, we will have food on the altar, to bless and consume so that we're taking like them into us keeping their memory alive within us. And there are some things that our food to offer, and we leave it outside. So remember how I was talking about like the corn, I always have something to represent corn, corn is safe enough to leave outside. And I know that it is not. Like if I leave cornmeal outside, it's not going to harm another animal. So we're very, very aware in our household about, you know, our environment. And when we do offerings, that it's not going to leave a negative impact. And you definitely need to know what animals are in your area, so that you are not accidentally hurting or poisoning them by leaving out something that is not edible. So yes, that's a really, really good question. And it's something that you need to consider with what you're going to offer, and how you will you know, like, I truly don't believe in disposing like throwing an offering in the trash. For me personally, in our practice, that is so disrespectful, you never waste food ever. Like, I don't know, any Hispanic person that ever wastes food, that's just something that's ingrained into us. Because we were most of us were bought up with very little to have and eat. So you never throw an offering out, you can give it as an offering and then use it offering to consume and say I'm taking it into taking a little bit of you into me and honoring you, and putting that into me. Or if you have a safe enough offering to offer outside then you can do that. So if you have like, if you have a wine and you have like a certain spot in your garden, or something that you don't mind pouring wine into the ground, you can do that. If you have flowers, you can offer flowers, and then leave that outside. That's not a problem. But when it comes to food, you definitely need to be way more careful.Courtney 1:18:35I appreciate you saying that and affirming because I know some people are like what? eat the what? eat the food for the ancestors? And if that what my husband I have started doing is we set out the Samhain supper and on the table. So a nice bountiful plate of food at the table that's for the ancestors, and then we put it in the oven overnight. And the next day, that's what we eat, and we eat it cold. So the idea is we gave it to them while it was fresh, and it was hot. And so the gift was was eating the food while it was still super fresh, and then we'll consume it because their ancestors are in us because I also just imagine these. Imagine these old people from the mountains of North Carolina looking like, like "honey, you gonna throw that out? You're not gonna throw that out". Like hahahahaHilary 1:19:23I know, some of my ancestors would be pissed if they saw food being thrown out. Monica Divane 1:19:27Yeah, my emphasis would be to I feel like, really bad stuff would happen that day. Like you did WHAT with our offering? I don't think soCourtney 1:19:38Again, like you said, I've been to a lot of ceremonies where the food is eaten right away. So of course there's that's absolutely a valid option if that's what people choose to do. And then of course, there's the other option where it's like, Hey, I'm not sure I'm ready to eat my ancestors food, but what my offering is going to be is is when it's good and fresh and crisp and hot, that's what they get, and I'll eat their cold leftovers.Monica Divane 1:19:58That's kind of like what we'd be like we have an altar for a little bit, but we can't like we personally can't leave it all night, or else we'll have ants crawling all over. So it's something that we leave out on the altar for a little bit. And then if anything, we will eat some of it unless it's safe to put outside. And also like I have a garden. So I'm just like, it's something like going to come in here and destroy plants?Hilary 1:20:20Yeah, right. You're like, don't do it.Courtney 1:20:22I have a couger in the neighborhood. I don't want that Cougar in my yard. So I'm not leaving anything.Hilary 1:20:26Yeah, you're like, I don't want that. NOPE Monica Divane 1:20:27Do I really want the possum to come back into my yard and live here for another two months? Do I want rats to come? And like, you know, destroy my milkweed again.Hilary 1:20:35Yeah, you're like NO THANK YOU!Courtney 1:20:39Hey, friends, quick content note, our listener question this week has to do with pregnancy and child loss. If this is not something that you're in a good space to hear about right now. We recommend skipping ahead. Nine minutes to hear the end of our interview with Monica,Kanani 1:20:57We actually have a listener question we were hoping that you could help us out with Monica Divane 1:21:02Okay, Kanani 1:21:02The listener question is, I am messaging today with a very personal question. I recently found out that I'm pregnant with baby number three, Yay! A little history. My first pregnancy was lost at seven weeks. My second resulted in an emergency c section of a beautiful baby boy who is now thriving and five years old. Three pregnancies after my son were lost early on. My sixth pregnancy resulted in the birth of my second beautiful, healthy baby boy. Here's my question. While I know there isn't much I can do to help baby stick, my body will do what it needs, what can I do to ease the stress and anxiety of the uncertainty of the first trimester? I'm scared and a little helpless, bringing peace and calm in is going to be the best thing I can do for myself and baby right now. Thank you so much for your time and energy. Blessed be. What kind of are there any suggestions you might have for her to kind of just try and stay calm at this time?Monica Divane 1:22:05Well, what I'm getting from that question is that she has a lot of anxiety. And it's completely understandable. And it's completely valid to have anxiety after struggling for so long. Um, for me how I handle anxiety that won't let up...I do have a worry box so if it's really bad, I will write some, I will write my worry down on the piece of paper, I will close it and there's like a little chant on top of the worry box. Now for someone who might not have a worry box, there are two things that they can do, they can write a very simple phrase or word on a bay leaf. And they can burn it if they can burn it safely somewhere in their home or even outside. That's one way to kind of rid of get rid of it and dispel it, we use bay leaves a lot for that as well. If having a bay leaf is not an option, writing it on a piece of paper, and again, burning it as well. Um, the point is to not obsess over the worry, it's to take the worry, take the anxiety and face it and acknowledge it. This is what I'm worried about. This is what I can't control. This is what I cannot control. And then it's like a small ritual of giving that worry up, I can't control it. This is out of my hands. I'm burning this right now. So that's how I usually handle anxiety for very big situations. I also like to carry stones, I use stones a lot in my practice, and three stones come to mind for this situation. When it comes to anxiety, I like to use Citrine, Amethyst and I want to say that I like to use Smoky Quartz because it's pretty grounding. So all three have to do with a different chakra and it helps to ground you and ease your anxiety. And I would suggest carrying those three stones with you. And whenever you feel like you need to ground it to hold them in your hand, not just in the pouch, but take them out and put them in your hand and hold them and take deep, deep breaths. It's something that my kids actually and I like to do, we stop and we take deep breaths and I'm talking about like for at least a minute. Inhale as much air as your lungs can get and then slowly exhale it and do that for a minute with the stones. And just ground yourself in order to release the worry, you once you burn the worry you have to literally force your mind not to think about it. You just say I'm not going to dwell on this. I'm going to think about something else. And it's forcing your mind kind of to go in a different direction. Like especially with something that you can't control and say you No, I'm not I release that worry, I'm going to be thinking about something that I can control, and then do that, that said activity or whatever. So like breathing, you can control your breathing, I'm going to focus on my breathing right now I'm going to focus on what is around me what, you know, if I feel the sun on my skin, I'm gonna wash my hands and wash this away, wash my worries away. So those are some of the things that I personally do to get rid of, you know, anxiety that just won't let up on me.Courtney 1:25:30And this is so helpful. And I'm so thankful that you've said all this because I know that's, I don't always have a good practice for anxiety, especially anxiety over the body. So I know I'm going to be embracing this. And I wanted to offer some, some other practice, like additional tools to this listener as well, because I am someone who's experienced pregnancy loss and infertility and you know, the IVF process, which is all just absolutely all it's absolutely excruciating. I think what I would when people ask me what my advice is on these things, I say, first of all, don't Google anything ever. Just let me tell you something, I am not googling anything except celebrity weddings, and maybe some like, like, or maybe some you know, YouTube videos on baking just things that are totally not involved with this at all. Like don't Google anything about what you know causes a miscarriage this so that it's so specific and unique andMonica Divane 1:26:33Don't go down the rabbit hole basically,Courtney 1:26:36no, you will find whatever it is you're worried about, you will find something to confirm it don't even if it's in the deepest recesses of those rabbit holes, and I would also try to not become anxious over your anxiety. It is an old wives tale that stress causes miscarriage, stress causes infertility because there are people that are getting pregnant and having babies in the most extreme stress that this planet has to offer. You know what intense war zones, refugee camps, famines, natural disasters, domestic violence, and people get pregnant and stay pregnant during those conditions. So if you're worried that your anxiety is going to cause problems for you, it's not, you know, the only the only anxiety it's going to cause us for your mind, not your body. Right. And so and I would also be careful which witches you talk to about this because witches are so well meaning, but when I came up for word about my miscarriage, I had lots of witches texting me saying trying to give me soothing meditation saying that stress was a problem for me, and they could feel it. And that also I got a Yule card that wished me and my husband and our spirit baby a happy new year, which was not anything that I wanted to get. Yeah, so I would just be really, really strategic about who you talk to everybody means really well and it's sometimes you can get stuff that you just don't need. So those are the practical advices. Monica, I love your suggestions about the different stones, and I don't always think to use stones. But I feel like the combination you've suggested would be just really effective on overall overall peace. So I'm hoping our listener takes that to mind.Kanani 1:28:22Yeah, I think those were some really, really tremendous suggestions. Um, also Monica, how can people find youMonica Divane 1:28:30Um, on social media.. um, you can find me on Facebook and on Instagram. So on Facebook, it's just Monica Devine. And then for Instagram, it's the_mer_witch.Kanani 1:28:49thank you so much for joining us. I think that this was awesome. It was fun, too. It was kind of fun to talk to someone about you know, their, their own family practices and and did it less more at those and this is only the best time of the year. So anytime you get to talk about this stuff. It's it's always fabulous. I love you so much for joining us. Thank you so much to all of our listeners for listening. If you want to support the show, the best way is to subscribe and spread the word. You can also please consider leaving us a rating and review us on Apple podcasts. You can also buy us a Ko-fi or check out our March on our Etsy store. For bonus content become a supporter on Patreon. We're on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, for shownotes audio transcript or to ask us a question to answer on a future episode. You can go to Until then, keep moting that shit and we'll talk to you next week.Courtney 1:29:44Yay.Hilary 1:29:47Yay.(Exit Music) 1:29:48Find us at for archived episodes or to ask your burning questions for us to answer in a future podcast. So mote it be.Kanani 1:30:02Yeah, something about animals. I don't know. pigs. I get pigs. Pigs work for me I can I can deal with pigs.Hilary 1:30:12I mean, pigs are great.Kanani 1:30:13Pigs are amazing. And their noises are fabulous. They're so annoying. It's amazing.Hilary 1:30:18They are really like, when he wants something, you're gonna know. He's very, he's gonna tell you. Kanani 1:30:26I respect that Hilary 1:30:27loudy and clearly that he wants food, more attention, some scratches, oh, he hears you through the window. He hears you so he must let you know that he's outside the window. So he's gonna scream there too. And it is like a loud scream ................
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