“SORRY” - Clover Sites



SORRY

Matthew 5:23-24

Games People Play Message Series

October 2, 2016

Pastor Nathan J. Thompson

Sorry is a game that can be traced back to England and was adopted by Parker Brothers in 1934. It is a game where each player draws cards from a deck; then follows the instructions in moving the four pawns each player has from the start square to the home square.

What's really fun about this game (which can change things very fast) is when your pawn lands on a board space occupied by someone else’s pawn or when you draw a “Sorry” card from the deck; you then get to send a person’s pawn back to the beginning to start again.

As this game progresses; as each player is striving to win by getting all their pawns to the home space picking a “Sorry” card (or landing on someone’s space) becomes something you want to do. Because then you can say to them, “Sorry,” as you send them back to start.

In our world today there are people who have this same approach to life. There are people who freely say “Sorry” to others when they have done something wrong; yet it is often more of flippant (easy) word that doesn’t mean much. Some say “Sorry” without hardly thinking at all.

There are other people who say they are “Sorry” as they watch others go backwards (wrong direction) in life. They may say that they are really “sorry” that others are hurting; that some have lost jobs; that others are facing poverty; that some are dying of drug abuse; gun violence; hopelessness; suicide.

Yet as sorry as they say they are it doesn’t really change; it doesn't motivate them to do anything to help these people in need. Sorry is an easy word to say as they quickly move on in life; as they are able to focus on their own life advantages; as they blame others for these problems.

Stephen Ministry often pictures a person with struggles as being in a pit. A person just showing sympathy stands at the top of the pit; says how sorry they are; tells them how bad they feel, etc. Yet looking down and simply saying sorry—the one sharing sympathy is completely unaffected. As soon as they take their next turn in life they easily forget about this person.

Stephen Ministry also shows that a person who jumps into the pit with this person; a person who allows themselves to become totally consumed with this person’s problems; who starts spinning in this hurting person's emotional web—that is also not a helpful way to say “sorry.”

A truly caring and compassionate person is one who is really touched by this person’s plight; stays anchored to a solid foundation with one arm, while reaching down to that person with their other hand offering a way out. A truly empathetic and sorry person puts their words into action.

In many ways this is similar to the issues Jesus was dealing with in the early church as far as forgiveness was concerned. It seems as if there were a number of conflicts (misunderstandings; hurt feelings) that were happening among the people. These conflicts were dividing people in the church; it was greatly affecting how they were able to work together.

It is pretty safe to assume that there were some who were truly sorry for what was happening yet there wasn’t any change; no reconciliation. In other words it was easy to say one was “sorry,” (to even say “sorry” to God); yet to find healing between two people in conflict was a totally different matter.

Jesus says in Matthew 5:23-24, “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and then remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to that person, then come and offer your gift.”

Jesus is saying that being sorry is more than just saying some nice words in worship; more than just giving an offering of money (service) as if everything is okay by this outward action. Jesus says we are to go; speak to the person face to face; share the ways we contributed to the conflict; ask for forgiveness.

That of course is the real crux. No matter how mad; how hurt; how unfair we think another person has been to us there is always something we have done that has helped enable this problem; something that has added fuel to the conflict. It always takes two to tango.

Therefore in order to bring true forgiveness and reconciliation to a relationship both parties need to take responsibilities for their actions. Both parties need to take ownership for their behaviors and words. This is the only way to bring complete healing in the midst of conflict.

Starting this next week the baseball playoffs and World Series will be played. In baseball it is often said that a base runner “died on third.” This means they were stranded on third base; no one got a hit or a sacrifice bunt; they were not able to come home and score.

Forgiveness is also not complete until we slide into home base; until there is healing and we are reconciled with that person. Jesus said, “For if you forgive others when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

One other important thing about being sorry and finding forgiveness. The truth is that when you have reconciled with another; when you have found forgiveness it is important that you are able to put behind you those things that injured your relationship.

I was reminded recently of an image I have used several times over the years. It is the picture in your mind of the times when you have been driving your car on a warm summer evening when a large flying insect has hit your windshield.

This bug has left a spot that is about the size of a quarter; even though there is lots of glass to look through your eyes seem to rivet on that one stain. In order to drive safely you must look around that spot to the road ahead; yet your eyes keep coming back to that pesky mark.

Life can be very much that way. When someone has injured us with harsh words (unkind deeds) the odds are that we will focus on those wrongs every time we see or think about that person. At this point however we need to take control of our thoughts. We need to concentrate on the good in that person—not on the bug stains.

Somehow Jesus was one who saw the best in the worst; he helped to bring about the miracle of transforming people’s lives. The famous theologian, Helmut Thielicke said, “Loving our enemies, then, does not mean we are supposed to love the dirt in which the pearl is buried. Rather, it means to love the pearl which lies in the dust.”

I can think of many instances when I have been hurt by others; when their words (actions) have bruised me deeply. Some of these times I have been angry and full of resentment for that person yet have tried to act as if nothing happened. However in this state I have always been the one who has suffered the most; I am the one who has allowed my bitterness grow.

But then (certainly not as often as I should have) I have decided to talk with that person. I have decided to share my feelings and confront the issues. Doing this has always been hard for me because I have then had to face up to how I have also hurt this person; how I have completely misunderstood what was happening; how I have blown the whole thing out of proportion.

Yet the times I have been able to do this in a spirit of love it is amazing how relieved I have felt; it is amazing how healing has often followed. The truth is—this is the only way relationships can find forgiveness and healing.

On the morning of October 2, 2006, a troubled milkman named Charles Carl Roberts barricaded himself inside the West Nickel Mine Amish School; ultimately murdering five young girls and wounding six others. Roberts then committed suicide when police arrived on the scene. It was an extremely dark day for the Amish community; it was also a dark day for Marie Roberts (the wife of the gunman) and her two young children.

On the following Saturday, however, Marie experienced something truly countercultural while attending her husband’s funeral. That day she (and her children) watched as Amish families (about half of the 75 mourners present) came and stood alongside of them in the midst of their own blinding grief. Despite the crime this man had perpetrated the Amish came to mourn Charles Carl Roberts—a husband and daddy.

Bruce Porter, a fire department chaplain who attended the service described what moved him most about the gesture: “It’s the love, the forgiveness, the heartfelt forgiveness they have toward the family. I broke down and cried seeing it displayed.” He added that Marie Roberts was also touched. “She was absolutely, deeply moved by the love shown.”

Edna Hong, in her book, “Forgiveness Is a Work As Well As a Grace,” concludes that a Christian’s ability to forgive is dependent upon the Holy Spirit. She says:

“But the strongest and healthiest of human wills cannot cleanse the mind of hates and grudges and bitter memories…Transcendental meditation cannot do it. Yogurt and yoga cannot do it. Jogging and cross-country skiing cannot do it. Psychiatry can say, ‘Hang in there baby!’—but does not speak of guilt, repentance and forgiveness. Only the Holy Spirit can give me a willingness to be forgiving.”

What spots then are on the windshields of your hearts today? Are you angry; filled with hurt? Just remember simply saying “sorry” does not often bring the healing you need. Jesus calls you to go to that person; listen and share; discover true forgiveness and reconciliation.

................
................

In order to avoid copyright disputes, this page is only a partial summary.

Google Online Preview   Download