Saying Goodbye - Madison County, Ohio
Time to Say Goodbye
Information and coloring pages
to help young people understand
what happens when someone
they love dies
This booklet is intended to be a guide. Information is provided to help adults talk to children about death. It is not all inclusive. Please modify the content as necessary for the age group with which you are working. Provided by the Madison County Crisis Response Team. Illustrations by J. Sapp, Class of 2012, London High School, London, OH.
Helping you say goodbye…
It is very sad when someone you love dies. It doesn’t matter
if it is a member of your family, your friend, or a family
friend, or even a pet, the feeling of loss will make you sad.
Sad times are like happy times…they are just part of life.
When someone dies there may be a lot of activity because
grown-ups will be busy making plans to say goodbye.
Friends and family may visit and even bring in food.
It may seem confusing, and maybe even a little scary,
because some of the people will cry.
Crying is okay because it helps us when we are sad.
You can cry and when you feel like it, you should talk to
Your parents, another trusted adult, or even your friends.
[pic]
You may have a lot of questions when someone dies,
like “Why did he have to die?” or “What will happen to her body?”
It is okay to ask your questions.
Many kids, just like you, may want to know what death is like.
When someone dies, their body doesn’t work anymore. It is not
breathing and it does not move. The person who has died doesn’t
get hungry or feel afraid. A dead person is very peaceful and
still.
No one has answers to all of the questions, but it can help to talk
to a grown-up you feel close to. It’s okay if you don’t want to
ask questions or talk about it right away. You can choose your
own time to do that. Everyone grieves in their own way, and
that is okay, too.
[pic]
After someone dies, their body is taken to a funeral home where
it will be taken care of. The people who work there will keep the
body safe and will help the family make plans to say goodbye.
When the family is ready, people will come to the funeral home
to talk to them. It helps to be near people who care about us.
Sometimes they may want to hug you or want to hold your
Hand, or maybe even kiss you to tell you how sad they are.
Sometimes they will be sad and cry. All of that is okay.
Sometimes they may want to tell you happy stories and they
will laugh because they remember good times. That is okay,
too. They are sharing memories.
[pic]
When you come to a funeral home, the person who has died may
be in a casket. A casket is a special box someone is buried in. It
has a soft mattress and a pillow, and sometimes a blanket.
Even though it is sad to see someone in a casket, we can have
happy memories. A memory is something that has happened
with someone we care about. It can help us to remember the good
times we have had with someone.
[pic]
People often send flowers and plants
to the funeral home to show sympathy
and to let the family know that they care.
When we show sympathy, we are saying,
“I am sorry that someone you love died,
and I will miss them, too.”
[pic]
Funerals are a lot like people, they can each be
different. Sometimes at a funeral, people will
come to share special prayers and memories.
There might be a minister, or a priest, or rabbi.
Sometimes the funeral is held in a church
or some other place special to the family.
They may call it a celebration of life,
because they want to remember who the
person was and what they did in their
lifetime.
Sometimes there is music and people will
get up and talk about the person who died.
[pic]
When the funeral is over, the casket is put in
a funeral coach and taken to a cemetery.
A cemetery is a peaceful place that looks a little
like a park because it will usually have lots of trees
and benches to sit on.
Family and friends often drive their own cars to the
cemetery at the same time, so that they can be there
to say goodbye.
Sometimes people will come back to the cemetery to
remember the person who died.
[pic]
If someone you love has died, you will
have many feelings. This can be a sad
time. You may even feel angry, or hurt,
or afraid, or you may feel some other emotion.
Can you draw what your face looks like?
[pic]
You might feel mad that someone you
Love has died. It’s okay to feel mad.
Sometimes grown-ups feel mad, too.
Maybe you can draw a picture of
Mad and put it in this box.
What color is mad?
[pic]
You might feel afraid when someone
you love has died. There is so much
going on around you, and your parents
and other adults may not be acting like
they usually do. That’s okay, because
they are feeling a lot of emotions, too.
You will see and hear many new and
different things. You can always ask
the grown-ups who care about you what
is happening.
[pic]
Sometimes when someone dies,
We don’t get a chance to say goodbye
To them. Use this space to write a note
To them. You may write whatever is in
your heart to say.
If you want, you may draw a picture
for them instead.
[pic]
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