What would an American parade signify



Can you imagine being a fly on a wall in the Oval Office? Let’s see if we can.

“I don’t care what people say about the popular vote in last year’s election,” President Trump was saying to his daughter, Ivanka. “My presidency represents the triumph of democracy, the epitome of the ideal of the president granted power through the consent of the governed.”

“But Daddy, many of our opponents are saying just the opposite: that you being president is turning the clock back on democratic progress. In fact, some say the only clock moving forward right now is the Doomsday one.”

“That’s because we’re demonstrating our strength and might again. They are beautiful words because we’ve been showing weakness ever since Georgie and Dickie had the guts to invade Iraq. Like I told Kim Jong-un, I don’t care how large his hands are; my nuclear button’s bigger than his. But I don’t like it that he has bigger parades. We are going to change that.”

“Here comes Jared. Let’s see what he thinks. Hi honey. What have you been hearing about Dad’s plan for a gigantic parade to show off out military?”

“Gee, it’s not pretty,” Kushner said. “What I am hearing is that the stock market’s been crashing ever since Donald raved at his State of the Union speech about how great it’s been doing. Millions of people have been losing their shirts and they know deep down that the big shots are cashing in on it.”

The president, pounding his desk, said: “We need big shots so don’t knock ’em. I’m one, remember? Once all my buddies can get their loot tucked away, don’t worry, the market will go back up. But right now I’m more concerned with celebrating the triumph of democracy with a huge parade to show that we are great again and that I’m in charge, that I’m a commander-in-chief to be reckoned with.”

“I have been catching a lot of grief about this parade idea,” Kushner said. “The generals don’t like it and too many in Congress think it’s as wacky as your border wall. They see it as all politics and they believe the military is supposed to be aloof from the political grime.”

“Daddy, I know you saw a parade for Bastille Day in France, and that day is like our Independence Day on July 4. We have plenty of parades and patriotism on the Fourth. Taxpayers aren’t going to like spending all that money so we can mirror the parades in Nazi Germany, Soviet Russia and Korea. Americans used to cringe and shake their heads at those.”

“Yeah, but I need to do something to impress Melania. She hasn’t even looked at me since the liberal, traitor media came up with that fake news about me and Stormy Daniels.”

“That’s enough, Dad. I am taking the woman’s side in this. Melania was home with a baby. What’s she supposed to do? Say it was OK for you to be out cavorting with other women? And now they say you’re feeling sorry for that wife abuser Kelly let slide.”

“Well, if your hubby here hadn’t of got caught talking to those Russians we wouldn’t be going through this damn investigation. So we have plenty of blame to go around for giving the fake media their grist to grind.”

“Hey, don’t start in on me, Don! I didn’t do anything you didn’t agree with. And at least I’ve been keeping all the kings and princes and other dictators in the Mideast on our side against Iran, like you wanted. If you would have vetted all these people you appointed and hired for your government, we wouldn’t be in nearly as much trouble.”

“He’s right, Daddy. Too many people think the epitome of democracy you’re talking about was really accomplished by distributing some of the sleaziness in our society and politics throughout the White House and Cabinet. Can’t we find more good, decent people to work with us?”

“That sounds like treason! I want my parade; I want my wall, and I want my parade …”

Cary Brunswick, of Oneonta, is a freelance writer and editor. He can be reached at brunswick@ or at . The views expressed in this column do not necessarily reflect those of The Daily Star and its editorial board.

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