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Candice BrooksHUEC 2065August 11, 2012How I Will Apply What I Have Learned to Family Resource ManagementThis class really challenged me to take a good look at myself and to really discern my future vocation. I learned a lot in this class and helped me to see the beauty of marriage but also all the hard work that must go into it. I think the most important thing I learned was simply that my future marriage starts now. I need to be preparing my heart and my resources right now for my future husband and children. Sometimes I get really tired of taking care of just myself and I’m eager to start taking care of other people, but I’ve come to realize that by taking care of myself right now, I am actually taking care of my future family by being the best person I can be in my current state of life. I learned how important family rituals and routines are in a family. I loved the idea of “mommy dates” and “daddy dates.” I will definitely use this idea in my future family because one on one time is so important for children. Learning this and applying it will allow for my children to have a higher self esteem and greater confidence in themselves because they will know they are special and loved. I will remember not to get discouraged though if sometimes my family complains about doing some of the rituals because that is normal and it will just take some perseverance. I would really like to start applying the quote, “self-worth is most improved by contributing, not consuming” to my daily life. I know I need to work on being more charitable and less selfish, so I will try to remember this quote when I’m having trouble being selfless. I think by applying this quote to my daily life and improving my self-worth, I can become a better family member for my current and future families. By improving my self-worth, I will have more confidence in raising my children and being a wife, which could make a huge difference.Something else I learned was probably the best definition of trust I’ve ever heard—“the ability to be vulnerable and comfortable at the same time.” I learned that we tend to project ourselves onto others and if we trust ourselves, we can trust other people. This made me think of the quote, “whatever you dislike in others, be sure to fix in yourself.” I guess it made me realize that I might have trouble trusting some people because there is a defect in myself. So, by self-reflecting I might be able to discover why it might be hard for me to trust myself and therefore, other people. If I can learn to trust myself with certain things it will be much easier to trust my future husband with these things as well. Another thing I learned that just blew my mind was that by saving just $5 a day can add up to 2 million dollars in the long run. This really challenges me when I go to buy a $5 coffee. Learning the importance of how small decision saving now on a daily basis matters and will definitely help with my family resource management. I also learned about the importance of making a down payment on a house and how it’s the single most important expense that I can start saving for right now. In the future when I am looking to buy a house I will definitely remember not to do a 30 year mortgage with 7% interest and no down payment, but to do a 15 year mortgage with a 6.5% interest rate and a 20% down payment. Also, I will be patient and start off with a $130,000 house, wait about 7 years, fix it up, then buy a better house. In addition to these financial resource skills, I also learned that to keep my interest rate low I must pay my bills on time right now, avoid credit card debt at all cost, and keep my driving record, criminal record, and employment record clean because just a 1% increase in my interest rate could increases the cost of a $100,000 home by $24,000. I think just being aware that these types of things actually have a lasting impact will encourage me to stay on top of things. I never really knew how bad interest rates were until this class. I was comforted learning about Gotman’s strong marriage pyramid because I feel like it just makes sense. I will keep this pyramid in mind for future relationships and really try to apply it. I agree that a strong marriage is possible only if the spouses are best friends before and after they are married. I think even before a couple starts dating they should be good friends first. I didn’t realize until this class how hard it might be to set aside alone time every night with my husband after we have children so it just made me understand how important it will be to plan ahead before everything gets crazy and to really stick to it. I want to continue to work on my “family game plan” and really pay attention to my desires and what I want for my future family. I think planning ahead is the best gift I can give to my future family. I am going to start trying to be less selfish with the way I spend my money because I learned how important saving money right now is for your future family. This class just got me really excited about being a mother and wife but it’s also important for me to remember that “the best things in life are slow.” I am eager to start a family but I must remember it is going to take a lot of patience to get there so I must keep my heart slow. Meanwhile, I must live in the present moment and take care of myself right now and it won’t hurt to brainstorm more plans for my future family. ................
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