Describe Your Dream Car - MISS MICKUS' WEB PAGE - Blog



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My Dream Car Writing Activity

Won’t it be great when you finally get your driver’s license and have all the FREEDOM you could want?!? Imagine on the very day you get your license, you get home and there in the driveway is the sweetest, tightest ride you could imagine? For this activity, you get the chance to dream – then write – all about that car.

First, let’s take a look at a sad, clunker of an essay on a dream bedroom. While you’re reading, look for where this writing could be pimped up. Make a list at the bottom of the page.

My Dream Bedroom

hi, my name is Ashley and this is my idea for my dream bedroom! My room would be the coolest ever. It would be giant. With a big bed and painted purple. Purple is my favorite color. Once when i was little I got a purple bike for my birthday. Oh and I would have a fridge, trampoline, big screen TV, and a dance floor. The dance floor would light up and blink like Dance, Dance Revolution. Well, thanks for reading my paragraph

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Let’s take a look at the paragraph together and add anything you might have missed.

Now, let’s look at the paragraph that Ashley wrote using the WRITING PROCESS!

My Dream Bedroom

If I could have one wish come true, it would be to design the coolest bedroom ever. When I think about my dream bedroom, I dream that it would have much more room, all the latest technology and toys, it would be decorated the way I would like it to be.

The first change I would make to my bedroom is I would make it much bigger. Right now I share a room the size of a shoe box with my little sister, and there’s hardly room to breathe! My dream bedroom would be at least the size of two classrooms combined and have a walk-in closet and spa bathroom. It has to be enormous so that I can fulfill the next part of my dream – a tricked out room!

Another important change to my sleeping chamber is it would have cool gadgets and electronics. First, I would add a King-sized, heated waterbed so that my sleep would be restful and comfy. I’d also be sure to include a large side-by-side refrigerator so that any time I was hungry, I wouldn’t have to leave my room to get a snack. In order to keep fit and entertain my friends, my room would have a bouncy trampoline and a light-up dance floor. Last, but not least, is the entertainment area with a 100 inch high-def TV and a white leather, theater-seating area.

Finally, I imagine a room decorated to my taste. Because of my sister, I sleep under a Dora the Explorer blanket every night! That would definitely change in my dream. Lavender colored walls would hold framed posters of The Jonas Brothers and Justin Biebers. Curtains that look like puffs of lacey clouds hang at the windows. Squishy, deep-piled carpeting cushions my feet. An amethyst and pink down comforter, accented with black and pearl white, softly covers the bed.

If only my dream for this fairy-tale room could come true! With a room like this, I don’t think I’d ever need to leave!

Now it’s time for you to get started. I’ve included a guide to help you through the WRITING PROCESS.

Step 1 in the writing process is PREWRITE.

• Define Purpose and Audience

o My purpose for writing this is __________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

o The audience who will read this is _______________________________________

• Brainstorm Ideas

Step 2 in the writing process is WRITE THE ROUGH DRAFT.

INTRODUCTION

Using the ideas you’ve outlined, write an introduction sentence that says something about your dream car (blue sentence). Circle the occasion/position word you’d like to use AND write your sentence on the Practice Outline:

Although As soon as Even though Whenever

Because Even If Ever since

Since Though Unless Until

When While Even if

Examples:

1. As long as I am on this earth, a Volkswagon Beetle will be my dream car.

2. When I think about singing, I always smile.

3. If I won a million dollars, I’d be the happiest person alive!

Once you have your blue “hook” sentence, it’s time to write your topic sentence (green “go” sentence). Remember: The topic sentence tells your reader what they will be reading about.

They will be reading about:

__________________, _____________________, and___________________.

MAKE SURE THEY ALWAYS STAY IN THIS ORDER!!!

Circle your choice for a Topic Sentence starter AND complete your topic sentence on the Practice Guide:

• When I picture myself in my car…

• The three things I will consider about my dream car are…

• I would love to have a _____________ with…

Examples:

1. When I picture myself in this car, I can imagine the exterior, interior, and where I will go in it.

2. Three reasons I love cats are they are cuddly, playful, and loyal.

3. I don’t like school because it is boring, too hard, and the teachers are mean.

BODY

#1

TOPIC SENTENCE POINT #1: __________________________________________

First, write a YELLOW SUPPORT sentence for point #1 on the practice guide. This is the supporting sentence that tells something about the topic. ADD A TRANSITION WORD (first, next, last, finally) to that sentence. See the Transition Handout for more help!

Examples:

1. To start with, the exterior of my Bug will be the cutest lime green color with a moon roof and shiny silver rims.

Next, write RED STOP AND EXPLAIN sentences for point #1on the practice guide. These are the detailed sentences that explain more about the yellow sentence directly above it. You should add a bit of personality to explain what you mean.

Examples:

1. I figure if I’m going to have such a cute car, I’d like it to be a fun color. I need the moon roof because I prefer the wind in my hair over air conditioning.

#2

TOPIC SENTENCE POINT #2:___________________________________________

Write your YELLOW SUPPORT sentence for point #2 on the practice guide.

Next, write RED STOP AND EXPLAIN sentences for point #2 on the practice guide.

#3

TOPIC SENTENCE POINT #3:___________________________________________

Write your YELLOW SUPPORT sentence for point #3 on the practice guide.

Next, write RED STOP AND EXPLAIN sentences for point #3 on the practice guide.

CONCLUSION

To conclude your paragraph, write a GREEN GO BACK CONCLUSION SENTENCE on the practice guide that leaves the audience with something to think about.

A conclusion is NOT:

• “And that’s about it.” OR

• “Well, I hope you liked my paragraph.” OR

• “The End.”

Examples:

Circle your choice for a Concluding Sentence starter AND complete your concluding sentence:

• To conclude, my _______________ dream car….

• ___________, _____________, and ______________ are the things I…

• One day I hope…

Use the PRACTICE GUIDE/ROUGH DRAFT on the next page to WRITE YOUR ROUGH DRAFT.

PRACTICE GUIDE/ROUGH DRAFT

_______________________ ______________________________________________

(occasion/position word you chose)

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(topic sentence)

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(transition you chose)

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(transition you chose)

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(transition you chose)

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(concluding sentence starter you chose)

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Step 3 in the writing process is REVISE THE ROUGH DRAFT.

Check for:

• A clear, strong paragraph Main Idea (YELLOW SENTENCE)

• Interesting Details to support your Main Idea (RED STOP AND EXPLAIN SENTENCES)

• Transitions

• Word Magic Words

Step 4 in the writing process is READ ALOUD THE ROUGH DRAFT.

• Have a partner read your writing to you.

• If a partner isn’t available, use the whisper phone.

• Put a star by anything that doesn’t sound right.

Step 5 in the writing process is EDIT.

Check:

• The parts where you put a star

• Conventions

Step 6 in the writing process is WRITE YOUR FINAL COPY.

• READ YOUR FINAL COPY

• Check for errors and correct, if necessary

Step 7 in the writing process is PUBLISH AND SHARE.

• Turn your paper in!

• Relax and be happy that you PLAYED BIG and wrote your best!

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My

Dream

Car

Exterior (color, features, windows)

Interior (extras, color)

Where I’d go on my first ride

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