(Hard to prepare the talk) (so much to say) Yet words seem ...
(Hard to prepare the talk) (so much to say) Yet words seem so inadequate. The main sensation I have is that there has been a great gap left in the world with the passing of Ruth Wilson Young.
It is hard to believe that she is no longer with us.
But I have tried to collect some memories and thoughts to give a little hint of who she was and what she meant to us.
First of all, I have kept feeling that she was a good and even a great woman(who struggled her entire life to learn, to serve, to give, and to care for others.
She was a devoted and hardworking mother. Besides doing all the things any mother would do, she passed on her enthusiasm about books and learning (as you(ve already heard),
she taught us the value of education, and she shared her faith, and her commitment to being a good person
My patriarchal blessing says that my parents gave me, from my early years, a love of the Lord and a love of all mankind. (Every time I(ve reread those words, I(ve sensed how true they are(it wasn(t so much something my parents specifically taught; it was just an obvious part of the understanding of the world we grew up with: that every human being is important, precious, worthy of respect. That no group should be denigrated or mistreated.)
The Church will always be associated in my mind with her devoted service, the lessons she prepared, and especially with sweet memories of leaning against her during sacrament meetings when I was young, and then returning home for hot chocolate on Sunday evenings
many other things I remember and am grateful for:
She kept us connected with extended family
She made holidays memorable
especially CHRISTMAS (WITH advent calenders, decorations, Christmas carols, stories, scriptures)
[[Later, when all of us had left home, she would sometimes have us over for Christmas programs
and she(d put on Christmas programs for other people, dressing up as Mrs. Santa Claus, and reading stories.]]
Her obituary lists Church callings and her involvement in the community
I(d like to add that she was a valiant and active member of Utah(s minority political party (and she helped pass on a spirit of independence and community service to her children)
Like Lawrence, I married later than usual(not quite as late as he did (but still late). But I know my mother was thrilled when I finally found and married my wife Margaret.
One thing we appreciated: was that though she loved us and our children, she made the decision not to interfere(she let her children become adults and live their own lives.
Nevertheless, Margaret was a little intimidated by my mother. When we came to my parents( home to announce our engagement, my mother prepared an elaborate dinner. Margaret was worried that she would be expected to keep up with the standard my mother had set.
What Margaret learned, though, is that my mother was just trying to show her love and support. We always felt that. Even though she let us live our own lives, we always knew she was there for us. Here are few more thoughts Margaret wanted to share about our mom:
(Ruth loved putting on elaborate birthday celebrations for her children, . . . At dinner time, she gave spirited descriptions of the books she was reading, and . . . was always ready for a political discussion--a legacy which has given her children a love of literature, politics, and of spirited discussions regarding just about anything. She loved beauty and surrounded herself by the beauty her children or grandchildren created, whether in needlepoint, oil paint, or crayon. We respected her ability to beat the contestants to the answers on "Jeopardy" and "Wheel of Fortune," but even more we respected her constant concern for all around her, and especially for her family. . . . We are grateful for the many gifts--mostly intangible--that she gave to all she knew.(
I wish I had time to tell some of the stories her nephews and nieces and friends have shared with us.
But I will share a few of the words they(ve used to describe Ruth: they speak of (her intelligence, warmth and zest for life.( they call her (intelligent, gifted, loving, compassionate(; (brilliant(; (thoughtful(; caring;. . .
*****************
Finally I want to share some memories from my mother(s last few days in this life. As many of you know, she spent over two weeks in the hospital, her body struggling and finally just wearing out. Sometimes, with an oxygen mask on, it was hard for her to have a conversation with us. But at times we were able to have some good conversations.
The night before she died, I visited with her. She had a magnificent view of the stadium and was going to watch the fireworks. (I(ve actually never found out if the nurse made sure she was awake so she could watch them.)
But before that, I talked with her. She was a little disoriented, but she was very much interested in what I was doing. She asked, (Is the semester almost over?( and (You have another commencement coming up, don(t you?( She asked twice about my son Rob, wondering how he was doing and if he was enjoying school.
one of her last concerns the last few days of her life was to make sure birthday cards were ready and signed for her family members.
She also made sure that I got the presents for the upcoming birthdays of my grandchildren, her great-grandchildren: a hat for Gabby, and outfits for Alex and for the baby Kaila is carrying that we hope is coming soon
I checked after Mom(s passing to see if she had arranged to have someone buy the presents or gotten them herself. I learned she had gotten them herself. I still have them in my car, to remind me that her last deeds were deeds thinking of others and celebrating them.
[true greatness in her
true goodness]
I miss my Mom
I miss her beautiful smile; the joy you can see in some of the pictures we have of her
(it was difficult for her to smile the last while; we had to ask her to smile; and it took some effort)
Like all of us, she wanted to be loved
I hope she knows she was deeply, deeply loved
(My Dad especially showed that love by his tender care for her in her last weeks)
my biggest ache as she struggled the last few weeks was that I wanted to hear her talk (I would have been happy hearing her talk for hours)
But I realize now that I also want to hold her hand, and embrace her
The apostle Paul wrote that, if Christ was not resurrected, we (who believe in him) are of all men, most miserable
I have sometimes wondered why the resurrection is such an important doctrine of the gospel
Some of us enjoy talking and thinking so much that we can imagine that life as a disembodied spirit might not be all that bad
But the scriptures tell us that in reality, we would consider the lack of a physical body a limitation, even a kind of bondage; for (spirit and element, inseparably connected, receive a fullness of joy; and when separated, [we] cannot receive a fullness of joy( (D&C 93:33-34)
As I(ve lost two sisters and now my mother, I(ve realized one reason the resurrection of the body is so important. I don(t just want to talk with my sisters and my mother again(I want to see them in their full physical warmth and reality, and embrace them, and feel the bond of love we share not just mentally, but spiritually and physically.
This loss has been very hard for us. But we have also felt peace as we(ve realized that our mother is now with two precious daughters, with her mother, and with the father that she hardly knew (since he died when she was a small child). She was also the last of her siblings to go, and so she has completed that family circle. I am sure there have been and continue to be sweet reunions.
I am grateful for a loving heavenly Father who has placed us in families where we can feel what we feel for each other, and learn to love and serve and care for each other; and I am grateful to our Savior Jesus Christ for giving us the hope of redemption and resurrection, and of an eternal reunion with those our hearts have become so strongly connected with.
Thank you, mother, for your wonderful gifts and for your magnificent life.
*************
Margaret:
Ruth Young was a steady and loyal companion to Daren, her sweetheart of ??? years. She loved putting on elaborate birthday celebrations for her children, and filming Christmas mornings [and celebrating Christmas]. At dinner time, she gave spirited descriptions of the books she was reading, and (a loyal Democrat) was always ready for a political discussion--a legacy which has given her children a love of literature, politics, and of spirited discussions regarding just about anything. She loved beauty and surrounded herself by the beauty her children or grandchildren created, whether in needlepoint, oilpaint, or crayon. We respected her ability to beat the contestants to the answers on "Jeopardy" and "Wheel of Fortune," but even more we respected her constant concern for all around her, and especially for her family. We rejoice that she is reunited with the two daughters who preceded her in death, and to whom she gave so much of her own life and time. We are grateful for the many gifts--mostly intangible--that she gave to all she knew.
other relatives:
Gordon T. Wilson
Springville, Utah
July 9, 2008 1:18 PM
I was sadded by the news of Aunt Ruth's passing. We wish we could attend her viewing and funeral, but we are serving as President of the Argentina MTC. I have the highest repect and love for Ruth and her family. We spent most of our married life in the East and Mid-West. Ruth was always good about keeping us informed on family issues. When I was born in Lovell, Wyoming, Ruth visited our family to help my mother. She has always given of herself. My extended family has always meant a great deal to me. Aunt Ruth is an incredibly intelligent, gifted, loving, compassionate person. We extend our condolences and love to Darren, Bruce, Larry, Darren K., and Annette and the other members of the extended family. We will miss her.
Criag Wilson
Sacramento, California
July 8, 2008 1:17 PM
Dear Daren and family, My deepest sympathies on the passing of Aunt Ruth. She and my father(Joseph Harold) were very close and so I knew her from an early age. I remember her for her intelligence, warmth and zest for life. Aunt Ruth was such a thoughtful person. Knowing that I was a lawyer, she gave me the 1877 law book of Thomas Henry Wilson, our first "Wilson" who came to America from England. The book is in my office and I will think of Aunt Ruth with a smile every time I look at it. Craig
Danny Gull
Henderson, Nevada
July 7, 2008 10:24 PM
Aunt Ruth was not only a special Aunt but a wonderful friend. I will cherish the times we spent together. When we were very small, before she had children of her own, Aunt Ruth recorded little records for us. She sang songs and read "The Night Before Christmas." We loved to get those orange records out and played them often. Her visits to us each Christmas, when we were growing up, were always a highlight of the day. When she was studying to get her Doctorate at B.Y.U. we traveled together from Spanish Fork to Provo one semester and I loved our visits together on those drives. The one word that describes her best is "Brilliant" She was amazingly well read, and always well organized. She was a wealth of information concerning our family history and always took the time to write her memories of those who had passed away. I hope I will be able to do the same for her, because my memories of our long association together are many. To all of you, especially Uncle Darren and all of my "Young" cousins, I want you to know how much she meant to all of us and how we will miss her presence on this earth. I can't help but think what a wonderful reunion there must have been as she crossed the veil. I am sure she is filled with joy to join her daughters and the rest of the family already there. Love, Danny
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